Sunday, December 9, 2012

Are New Zealand drivers really so bad that get our dogs to drive us?

New Zealand is famous for many things; its scenery and green image, wine, food, sporting achievements and lots of inventions. Unfortunately we come in for a bit of stick because of our casual approach to driving. Tourists often say we are dangerous but personally, I think that is just because, for most of them---we drive on the wrong side of the road.
Whether or not you believe such cruel claims about us---well that’s over to you. I must tell you about how we propose to change this widely held view about our driving habits. I guess many of you know about the agricultural back bone to our economy. We grow things and feed them to animals and that’s how we get much of our money to buy the things we no longer make, because most of those products are made in China.
We came up with a magnificent, yet daring plan. Why not let ‘man’s best friend’ help out. Yes---let’s get the help of our canine friends. Backed up by the SPCA, which has long made the claim that you don’t need some fancy breed that is related to the Queens dogs or the President of the USA, a new plan is in action. OH no, we can rescue a dog from the SPCA and train it to drive our cars. That is exactly what is happening in little old NZ. It won’t be long before you see dogs driving the kids to school and on the horizon there is a ‘Let doggy drive you home when you’re drunk’ service.
Yes, dogs are in and we will all have a couple of dogs, delivering us to our destinations and save billions in accident support payments (We call that ACC in NZ). It is rumoured that anyone caught driving drunk will be instructed to take on one of the dogs. Doggy driving schools are springing up all over NZ, even on our outer islands. There is even a move to export our clever little dogs.
Go to and play with the links if you don’t believe me. See, many fine things come out of New Zealand. Isn’t that just an extension of ‘New Zealand 100% pure?’ At least you can all believe this one!
By the way, Perdy, my Jack Russell watched the programme on TV and now she’s barking at me to take her for her first lesson!

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