Monday, April 1, 2013

Unbloodybelievable!--I was told I can have cake tonight.

NO----I am not taking the piss. I have had two phone calls tonight; one from my surgeon and the other from the anaesthetist. It seems that my almost 15 KG weight loss on Optifast is indeed good. It has done the trick, by shrinking my liver and that apparently makes the operation via keyhole surgery much safer.

Now, back to the cake. It so happens that there is a lovely birthday cake for my partner, sitting in the refrigerator. I had thought it was out of bounds and had accepted the fact that I would just have a nice cup of tea and go to bed. Hell no. I was told by my anaesthetist THAT I CAN PARTAKE IN A SLICE and a glass of chardonnay!

I shall suffer my last day on Optifast tomorrow (although I don’t need to be as strict). I have ‘done the job’ and after the operation, my system will only tolerate small amounts of ‘liquidized’ food for about three weeks, then it will be very small portions of almost normal food for the rest of my life. That’s fine with me, as I reckon I have well and truly had my share of food and booze for several lifetimes. Just think of the money I will save and be able to divert to other things like, ‘debt reduction’ and possibly, some overdue travel.

 I am looking forward to my new life and will continue my blogs about how it goes. Maybe I shall put together a book at some stage to join the other three. Maybe it will even sell!

Perdy the monster destroyer.

Perdy, the 'destroyer.'!
Every so often I buy a ‘friend’ for Perdy. I suppose this is because I leave her at home when I go to work and sometimes she has to stay behind if I am going to a place where she is not welcome, like the supermarket, restaurant (she comes to many cafes though) or bank. What I am saying that I love to take her and I enjoy her outrages antics at the beach or park and then the total contrast as she sits quietly under the table at the cafĂ©, surveying the world as it glides past.

Today I brought her a little green crocodile that squeaks in the most delightful way when pressed or bitten, when between the jaws of the afore mentioned dog. We unpacked the groceries and tossed her ‘green friend to her on the grass. We immediately heard the squeaky cry of the beastie as she was attacked by Perdy. By the time we have packed away our purchases, the sound had diminished to that of an ‘asthmatic’ shadow of its former self. Not only that, but the jaws of the crocodile resembled those on one that had been run over by a train.

Poor crocodile-----what a short life you have had. Well, Perdy; that’s it for this week. I think I shall get you the real thing and see how you go with that; like the one in the fish pond. Try that for size!

My cat has 'run' away---why oh why, I asked my Jack Russell.

The header is not a frivolous statement or meant to be demeaning in any way to my cat, Jasmine. I am actually saddened by the fact that she doesn’t even sneak in the back door at night to have her food, despite the fact that I shield the area from Perdy, the Jack Russell who no doubt has made her peaceful life a thing of the past.

For about 18 months, the two pets coexisted; much like the old Soviet Union did with the USA. Both had the capacity to maim or kill---well OK, that is a bit rich, but they kind of got on. I would often see them late at night asleep on the couch, a few feet from one another.

Enter stage right a neighbour who has his elderly Mum living with him. It seems that Jasmine started to visit them and at first that was fine with me. After all, the dear old lady loved to see Jasmine I (who is a very pretty girl) in her yard as she watched the birds (that’s Jasmine watching) and occasionally caught one. Jasmine started to spend more and more time in ‘their yard,’ and I am quite sure they fed her little ‘titbits’ from time to time.

Finally they invited her inside their home and said to me---‘Oh, we don’t feed her and we send her home at night.’ Gradually Jasmine became a bit of a fixture in their home and was soon spending most of the day there, ensconced like some royal personage. They admitted that they fed her and that she ‘often demanded to be let in from about 5 each morning and was not ‘sent’ home until late at night.

What was Perdy’s reaction?  Well of course she started to see Jasmine as a ‘visitor’ and she started to ‘inspect’ Jasmine when she occasionally came home during the day. This of course coincided with me being at work and little lonely, Perdy wanted to ‘play;’ playing in Jack Russell terminology means chasing the crap out of anything that dares to move.

Thus began the final movement of this sad ‘opera.’ Perdy increasingly saw Jasmine as an unwanted and very boring visitor. Jasmine became fearful of the unwanted attention and set up residence on a more permanent basis. My partner and I became a little reticent about paying vet fees and de-fleeing jasmine. I heard the afore mentioned neighbour claiming that he had to ‘flee-bomb his home.’

Hell, what could we do? Things are now so strained between jasmine and us that she completely ignores us and we can no longer catch her in order to de-flee her.

Despite my stunningly unfeeling description of the defunct relationship that exists between Jasmine and us, do not mistake that for one that lacks feeling. We are both deeply grief-stricken. We will get through this in the knowledge that ‘you can’t trust a cat,’ especially if you have a jack Russell and conniving neighbours in the deadly cocktail.

Go well Jasmine, but please send us a glance as you sneak along outside our fence. Perdy misses you too, in her own special way.

Mmmmm---- maybe we shall get a second Jack Russell!