Friday, April 13, 2012

'Talk To Me'--synopsis

The world of talk-back radio is a fickle one. The ratings can make or break the station broadcasting the show. Personalities are involved and back room money crunchers rule.
What happens when less than scrupulous managers employ some shady tactics to boost the ratings?
Gary is a popular host and has difficulty confining himself to the rules of the station. He balances his stressful life by walking his dog, Spot, a cunning Jack Russell, at a local park. He is friendly with a group of fellow ‘walkers.’
A scheme is hatched by the managers and Garry is soon in the middle of a cat and mouse battle between a dubious character with his own agenda, who rings in to the talk back show to taunt Garry while he is on air. Things get way out of hand.
You will laugh--- you will be frustrated--- you will be angry, probably enough to ring in some poor bugger doing his job in the real world, so I apologize in advance to all the hard working talk-back hosts.
The story is a tongue –in-cheek; take the piss exposé of an unreal world. Unfortunately it has a ring of truth in it too.
 Look for the first chapter on my blog.
While you are at it, read the first chapter of ‘The River Always Flows.’

Don’t forget to click on the adverts. That is how I am going finance my books.
 Neil Coleman

Free trip to the moon and Mars for the person who clicks and gets me over 5000

Yeah right--- But I shall have a drink in the next few minutes to celebrate 5000 hits--- wish they were all clicks on the adverts though. I am two months ahead of where I thought I would be. Now--- I want to hit 10,000 in the next month!

Feijoa and apple with ginger crumble (with added post-scripts

Many New Zealanders have a back yard and in the climes north of about Taupo, it is possible to grow Feijoas amongst many other fruits and vegetables. Of course all of NZ is conducive to having a garden and fruit trees. I have heard that Feijoas even grow in parts of the South Island.
It is not uncommon for people to have one or more Feijoa trees in their backyards and have the fruit rotting on the ground. What gets me is that some of these very same people will then go and buy the fruit at something like $6 a kilogram: Is that not a little crazy? The same people, if they have a garden will grow veggies and not even harvest them. I will not go near talking about those people who have the space, claim that they have no money, but do nothing about growing and harvesting their own produce--- there is so much help out there to help them if they are a little lacking in role models. Oops--- I said I wouldn’t go there.
Now--- what is a Feijoa? It is a fruit with origins in the milder climates of South America. It is a fruit that NZ has made its own, by developing it until it resembles the wonderful; fruit shown in the picture. There are many varieties in NZ now. It has a little problem in that it doesn’t store well and quickly becomes over-ripe--- indeed the best to eat are the ones that have just dropped from the tree. The ones you see in the shops have usually been picked and are never quite the same, because of the waiting period for them to ripen.
What of the flavour? It isn’t for everyone. I would describe it as sweet and highly scented, almost floral. It makes excellent wine too, because of these qualities. It is highly nutritious with lots of Vitamin C The best way to eat them, freshly picked off the ground is to cut them in half and scoop out the creamy flesh with a teaspoon. Don’t eat ten or more or you will find that they will have you being best friends with the toilet, but then, most people don’t overindulge like I do. They can be cooked too, into jams, used in curries and mixed into general fruit salads. I love them combined with apples, rhubarb or almost any fruit in a crumble. Here’s a recipe. Quantities are very general and simply don’t matter a hell of a lot.
Feijoas and apple with a littler sugar, bubling away.
Use any dish—for whatever size you want the dessert to be.

1)    Scoop out the Feijoas (put the skins inn the worm farm---I’m good eh)
2)    Chop up any apples you have –amounts don’t matter.
3)    Cook in pot with a little sugar or sweetener (Stevia maybe)
4)    When soft---- once again---- your choice--- well cooked or still retaining shape----over to you. Place in cooking dish. You can add cinnamon if you wish.
6)    You can use the traditional flour, butter and sugar mix but I go for a more exotic taste. This one is gluten-free.
7)    I blitz seeds like sunflower, sesame, pumpkin and linseed (over to you again) and combine it with gluten-free baking mix (or just use rice flour), then I rub in the butter with my fingers. It feels great. Use as much or as little as you wish.
8)    Use wither sugar or a sweetener and a very generous amount of powdered ginger. I use half of a small packet. Mix it all well and taste---- No---- don’t eat it all--- it is very tasty.
9)    Pack the crumble loosely on the top of the cooked Feijoa mix and bake at about C180 for about twenty minutes. Just keep an eye on it so that it doesn’t burn.
I am sure you can figure out what you wish to have as an accompaniment.  I love NZ ice e cream with mine--- hokey pokey.

Damn--- I ran out of ginger, so I will use powdered Cardamon in the crumble. I shall let you know how it turns out.

The cardamon worked a treat--- Mmmm--- next time I shall try allspice---ya never know till you try--- but make sure its with forgiving friends.

I took a punt yesterday and---

Sometimes I wonder if my plan to blog my next two books, ‘Talk To Me,’ and ‘The River Always Flows,’ is just pissing in the wind. I have done it (chapter by chapter) but I don’t see much evidence of increased hits on those blogs. I am thinking that the stats I get may not reflect the actual number reading them. For example- where the link goes via Twitter or FB--- are those hits shown on my stats?
I said that I would put up the next chapters, once they hit 100----well there’s a long way to go for both books, so I may have to revise down the numbers.

Damn-----I thought--- I need to take some action so I emailed a reporter who had interviewed me for my first two books; ‘Coastal Yarns’ and ‘Roskill’ (both are still available direct --- through me I told her about my little scheme to release them on my blog, chapter by chapter. She got back to me pretty quickly and said that she would do an article on my plan as it is a bit unusual.
So why am I doing it like this? OK--- to be blunt--- I am sick of been kicked around by an industry that has so many hooks. Add my naivety into the mix and you can see why I am having trouble. I can’t say much because I don’t want to attract negative (legal) attention. I know I couldn’t fight such actions.
The short answer is that by monetizing my blogs there is a small chance that I can recoup some of my expenses and then be able to sell my books (hard copy and eBook) myself. I have an accountant who can help me with tax etc. and I will be seeing a web designer next week to set up a new website.
What is the chance of ever getting any money that way?  Bugger all actually. It requires thousands of people to clicking on the ads that appear on the side of my blog and that is only if the reader has the adds bar active. Many people disable that option, so I miss out.
Then there is the question about what adverts should appear. I have control over that and I initially had chat sites and online dating services advertised. I was uncomfortable about some of them--- especially the one about ‘bored housewives’--- you get the picture? It seems that those sites were the ones that attracted the hits, so I have a dilemma. Should I have a conscience and not score many hits, or do I swallow my pride and just let it all find a pattern?
 Don’t be surprised if I compromise my standards as I see the stats remaining dead in the water. For your information, I have achieved the grand total of $7 US so far--- What a joke.
If you want to help--- get your advert bars back on and click away. I shall always let you know how rich I am  (NOT) becoming.
 Thanks for your help so far.