Saturday, March 31, 2012

Brits--- get your buts over to NZ now---Why? (part 1)

Heheheh I said I wouln't stick pictures on--this goes with the 'Mysterious bowls blog--- check it out!

Don’t worry, I am not going to shove a whole lot of pictures of gorgeous scenes on here--- You already know that NZ is beautiful and has heaps of wide open spaces. Add the fantastically friendly locals and you complete the picture.
I think that you should ponder upon what it is like in Britain and look out your window, or down the street and lastly, check out the news and you will find reason enough to book a flight with the maximum allowable time and get your butts here now.
It’s not so hard for you to get the necessary travel documents (unless you have been naughty boys and girls--- then take it from me--- stay at home----it’s a long to come to have your sorry arses stuck back on the plane eh---mate!). OH another thing--- don’t go bringing any of that shit that will get you offside with customs--- that means unwanted food items and the old drugs crap. Just watch ‘Border Control’--- the Aussie/ NZ version and you will notice that we don’t employ ‘grass-skirt technology to apprehend the bad stuff.
 I’d be a lair if I said you couldn’t get that stuff here anyway. I won’t paint you a picture of some innocent little pacific country that does not have an issue itself with the above mentioned low-life territory. Come with a good heart and enjoy yourself. If you want to get a bit lit--- take it from many of your own compatriots--- our wine is excellent and out beer fantastic, if you know where to get the best examples.
What’s ya gonna do when you come to us?  MMM is that a song---- Hehehhe. Well,----- get outside of the big (by NZ standards) cities--- OK, there is only one of reasonable size and that’s Auckland with its 1.5 million plus and growing (heaps of Poms coming every year------ to stay). Oops, Poms--- that’s you lot eh.
Yes you could have fun in the big smoke--- it has many incredible things to see and do and if you are a young’un--- well there is the night club/bar scene and if you really wanna behave like those twats on TV in Britannia who drink their tits off and then get arrested and have no money left for the rest of their week, then go ahead, but be careful. I’d be a lair if I said we don’t have that here too, but you really do take the cake.
For the more sophisticated amongst you, and I know there are rather a lot of them, well there are many restaurants, swerving a full range of ethnic food and they range form the cheap to the bloody over –the-top. Mind you, don’t you pay about 100 quid for a decent steak meal for four and that’s without the wine. A tip---use the BYO option and don’t expect to pay heaps for the corkage fee. Always ask upfront about that, perhaps when you book. If you want to know the better options, ask a Kiwi or get in touch with me. See my other blogs for cafĂ© options in Auckland.
Auckland is blessed with two lovely harbours and the city itself strides the isthmus separating the two. There are dozens of clean beaches with less than an hour’s drive of the central city. If you jump on a Ferry, then you can add some island hideaways, with beaches that are deserted for much of the year, even in the height of summer. While you are having a few beers or wine, get friendly with a local. You never know--- they may own a boat. After all, Auckland is not called ‘city of sails’ for nothing.
I have been talking About Auckland and I have barely scratched -the surface. What about the rest of NZ? You will have to wait for the next instalment. Catch ya later mate!  Damn--- <Looks like I have another series on my hands.
PS--- if you think I have been a bit cheeky about POMs--- well I am well-qualified--- I was once one, about five generations ago, with some Scottish chucked in there.