Thursday, June 19, 2014

John Key's 'smartness' is about to backfire---big time!

Watching the smug face of John Key as he contemplated a 'moral' victory over David Cunliffe and the 'leaked letter affair' is enough to make one throw up. The image of him prancing around Washington, making the most of his photo opportunities, and listening to his predictions that he has much more to come on David Cunliffe, led many to believe that he was about to administer the 'coup de grace' for his opponent's career. Things are not quite so simple Mr Key.
IT seems that you are part of a nasty plot and a scheme to withhold information about the whole sorry affair that your MPs were also involved in. I am not saying that the 'letters' that most MPs write for their constituents are all above recrimination, but your holier than thou announcements are nothing short of gutter politics. Yes, I know that Labour is equally capable of following the same path.
WE the voters are sick of the stupidity from all sectors of the political spectrum  that treat us like fools. Maybe we are---for allowing you your second term, but at the time, I guess we didn't know you WE will not make that mistake again. This time, the people of NZ are going to have the opportunity to see the 'real you.' It is not a pretty sight.
 David---step up to the mark and continue to offer policies, not the inane behaviours of the 'soon to be former PM!' Once again, I say---'what goes around, comes around!'
www.authorneilcoleman.com
 

Smoke gets in your eyes---and lungs and clothes--tell us something new!

What an incredible revelation—smoke gets into the lungs of those people unlucky enough to be sitting near an open window at cares where nearby smokers puff away on their drug of self-destruction! The NZ Herald reported this latest piece of research that probably cost a mint (not the sort you suck, although we are all ‘suckers’ if we pretend shock and horror!) and was simply stating the obvious.
I now that smokers get a pretty hard time but you cannot get away from the fact that their second hand smoke is still affecting many people, ranging from the kids trapped in cars with ‘smoking’ parents (I dean hear many say---‘but we don’t do that’---yeah right, like we don’t use cell phones in our cars while we are driving either!) to the cafes and other public areas prone to ‘drift-poison.’
How many times have you sat outside at a café or just inside and been subject that sickly, cloying and very annoying pollutant? Maybe you have been tempted to say something, but you don’t because you don’t want to get into an argument with someone who has probably subjected others to their diatribe about personal freedom and that if you don’t like then move on!
Excuse me, after all the research about second hand smoking and how it can be worse than the inhalants from the actual smoke,’ then how the hell can they justify their imposition on the safety of---US! Such relations are typical and no amount of postulating on the part of smokers and the industry that ‘kills them’ can take away the fact that it is time to stand against this once and for all. Ban the damn things from anywhere where people gather.
I am sick of having to move from a window, or from an outside table at a café in summer, simply because a smoker has ensconced themselves not too far away. Sure there are many of ‘them’ who do their very best to lessen the effect of their habit on us. You know the body language, where you observe them sort of twisting away as if their ‘drifting crap’ will somehow move away in a different direction. It doesn’t work folks. Go and find somewhere else to have your hit, preferably in your home (oops you don’t smoke at home because it stinks---OH----nice thought!)
We have come a long way over the years, in the quest to make more areas of our lives healthier places and we have placed more responsibility on those who indulge in smoking to either’ kick the habit’ or lessen the ramifications it has on others. Are we now at the stage where we move to the next level, in line with ‘governments’ plans to make NZ smoke free by the year----what?
In the meantime, we will continue to make allowances for those who insist on blowing their second hand poison in our direction or we will start making noises in order to get the message across, if legislators don’t step-up to the mark---NOW. Maybe a few strongly worded T-shirts with a ‘clean-air’ message, prominently displayed, might be a good start but then again, that may put us at risk too. The smokers may chase us if their lungs are up to it!
www.authorneilcoleman.com

Honey, I blew up my Sheffield Soup Maker! Why---read on.

When I was younger, a friend labelled me in a very descriptive manner. He called me 'rip shit and bust.' What a terrible insult you say. Well no---actually he was quite accurate. You see, I have a propensity to buy things and just switch them on without reading the instructions and 'warning signs.'
Let me explain a modem day version of this former self.
I am a sucker for buying things from 'As Seen ON TV,' or from many of the online shops. I purchase clothing and whatever takes my fancy, especially when they have massive discounts. Now, you all know how much I still love cooking, even after my Bariatric surgery, after which I lost 45 kilos and have maintained that loss quite successfully. This blog is NOT about that journey; well not directly that is.
I recently acquired a Sheffield Soup Maker and from what I can see online, at a very good price---NZ$69. The same product is quite a bit dearer on other sites. My site was Off the Back. I have brought other Sheffield products and they have been fine, so why not I thought, having watched (or not!) the video, I decided that the delicious soups and smoothies were right up my alley.
For a couple of weeks I have made wonderful healthy soups and taken them to work, often sharing them with whoever wants to try my made-up recipes. You can get soups in about 30 minutes in a no fuss way and it is easy to clean. This is beginning to sound like an advert, but this is also where no one would want me advertising their products--not after what I have managed to do!
Tonight I grabbed some of my mate Doug's leftover wonderful greens, chucked them in the soup maker and emptied a can of lentils into the mix along with a teaspoon of low-salt stock powder. I put a tablespoon of water  and turned it on.
I watched the news and about 15 minutes later I heard the sound of the whirling blades as they smoothed  the soup into a deliciously smelling delight. Ya reckon? All of a sudden the house was plunged into darkness. Bloody hell---was this an attack by aliens or had a freak storm launched itself upon a relaxed Auckland? NO---- none of the above!
We stumbled around, searching for the latest acquisition from Off The Back. Yes I had just received an 'emergency light' that could be cranked to provide light via a mini dynamo. Its also does lots of other things, but you can wait for another blog to hear about that. Needless to say, I couldn't find it in the dark, so we used the light from the cell phone as a torch and sought out the power board whereupon we turned the switches on that had flicked off. I immediately KNEW what had triggered the outage, because we checked to see if the neighbours lights were on. Yes they were, so it had to be what I had done.
It was my Soup Maker! How did I known this? Well I turned it back on---twice----you guessed it---the feckin power went out again. I cast my brains back to the sound that I had thought was a bit suspicious when the soup was cooking. It had whined away for far longer than it should and at a decibel that was not like the other times when I had made soup. I KNEW what I had done. I had not put enough water in and sure enough, the motor had burnt out! It was not Mr Sheffield's fault--- no it was me ignoring the instructions that I had NOT read properly. If Mrs Brown (Of Mrs Brown's Boys fame) read this she would not say---'That's nice!'
She would call me a feckin idiot and slap me stupid. Rip shit and bust for sure!
Am I pissed of at Sheffield?---hell no. I have already ordered my new one, Expensive lesson, and  soup will be back on the menu, sometime next week. The buggered one---it's already on its way to the recycler! I do not intend to use the guarantee because that would be dishonest. I have many more tales of equally pertinent events that explain the name my friend gave way back when my hair was thicker. But---they can wait.
www.authorneilcoleman.com