Sunday, August 12, 2012

Outsourcing--the new-age miracle---Lets do it!

The world is changing so fast, we hardly notice anymore. What was here yesterday is quickly forgotten as yet another new product or service hits the ‘shelves’ or computer screen. Much of this momentum is underlined by the new-miracle, ‘outsourcing.’
Of course it isn’t exactly new; it has been around for ages and various segments of the economy have been fighting a losing battle against this wonderfully efficient and humane movement. Like the dinosaurs, this opposition has been decimated by climatic shifts in reality therapy.
The world of the near future has already evolved to some extent; just think of all of those wonderful calls you get around dinner-time; many of them are from friendly highly trained vernacularly-proficient operators, from parts across the seas. I know you all look forward to their informative and unobtrusive offerings.
We can expect a huge increase in the scope and number of outsourcing opportunities. We should embrace them as they take away the less meaningful aspects of what many of us consider being boring and unfulfilling employment. We will be able to sit back and relax, as tasks we once thought of as being beneath us are carried out remotely or sometimes with ‘guest outsourcing,’ a whole new concept that we haven’t yet fully understood. Yes, I know that in some countries these ‘workers’ are called ‘illegals, but not so here.
Take a closer look at the possibilities. Teaching will become a totally different occupation as the numbers of teachers drop. Remember all of those fractious classes that teachers so often struggled with. That will become a thing of the past as ‘remote teaching units’ kick in. The face to face teacher will only be needed for ‘extension’ work and to visit students in their homes on occasion.
Grocery shopping will all be online; only the ‘corner dairy’ will continue much in the same way as we know it today. Of course for those unfortunates who never entered the ‘new technological world,’ well they will have to rely on ‘guest outsourcing’ to meet their needs.
The need for travelling will also be outsourced; that is for those who really want to travel. With restrictions in place, because of increased terrorism attacks at tourist hotspots, the desire for ‘live travel’ will have diminished to a point where it is no longer viable. Nevermind, ‘neo-reality-tourism,’ will increasingly take-over. No more upset tummies or infections--- no way--- ‘travel’ will always be pristine and much cheaper.
There is another obvious example where outsourcing will benefit us most. Yes, I have saved the best for last. We will be outsourcing our politicians. Many of those calls you have been getting from offshore of late, have been your future ‘politisourced local member of parliament.’ One may even have been our future Prime Minister. The Beehive in Wellington will be turned into a huge ‘neo-reality’ pleasure palace---ghosts included. Everything; all government departments will be outsourced to various secret locations. The need for secrecy is obvious. With increased infiltration from criminal elements (but don’t worry--- the police will have been efficiently outsourced to Kazakhstan) there have been cyber-attacks on the medical records of many of our citizens. Hopefully, with the new measures put in place, remotely of course, that should soon stop.
It is good to know that we will all be safer, better informed and safely overseen by the latest of the outsourced robotic security force. Oh, I can’t wait.

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