Perdy and the chooks are going to the movies today! Desperation!

If you have been following my blogs and FB posts, you would have no doubt cottoned on to the saga, re my chooks. I had four stroppy girls, who for the most part were producing enough eggs to keep my larder full and some leftover for swapping and giving away. Yes, the home baking used up a few too. You may also have noticed that I 'introduced' two new girls to the flock a few weeks ago, WITHOUT doing any research about how that should be achieved,
A one-sided war resulted and it was UGLY to watch. Feathers flew and prisoners were taken. The absconding rate sky-rocked, to the point, that every time I wandered into the backyard, there was one or both of the new hens, high-stepping around the garden, in the belief that they had escaped their tormentors. I returned them to their 'new family' and war resumed,
I sought advice and 'toughened up,' as hens will be hens and the term, 'pecking order,' has a real basis in the animal kingdom. (Yeah, I know---humans do a pretty damned good job, emulating that too!) I came home from shopping a few days ago and a very sad sight met me as I entered the yard.One of the 'newbies' was trapped in a corner, from where she had been trying to escape her mean-beaked upper echelon torture mistress. (Hell, that could make her money in some darker corners of the human world!)
'ENOUGH is ENOUGH!' I yelled, sounding like a group of black-shirted cult followers, as seen on the news,' (Kiwis will get that) I acted immediately and instituted a new regime: SEPARATION, 'Chooky style.' The two new girls were returned to their smaller, but safer area, whereby, 'research' tells me that they should remain, for two reasons. It may be too late re one factor; quarantine, in case they had some unwanted disease, and two---let them get used to one another and then in about two weeks, let the new ones out very early one morning, before the older ones arise. I thought my brother was having me on when he suggested that.
I have a 'third strategy.' Today, Perdy and I will be taking all six hens to the movies. We are going to see a very clever New Zealand made short film about the 'world of hens.' We hope to garner a new understanding of the antics and quirks of our 'feathered egg producers.' We hope to show them that 'their generous enclosure does not need to be a war zone.' We shall follow up the film viewing with a therapy session, where I shall use all of the skills I have learned over the years in my 'professional life' as a counsellor. Yes, we will use 'Narrative Therapy, CBT and finally a Restorative Justice session. If the former strategies do not work, I shall employ 'roasting therapy,' or perhaps a little 'crockpot solution with spices, therapy.'
There is, of course, the issue of how I shall smuggle all of the participants in this scenario, into the theatre. I think I need to create a diversion at the entrance of the cinema and while that is being investigated, the hens, Perdy and I shall enter. The fact that I have a rather large wiggling, clucking bag and a Jack Russell, cleverly disguised as an elderly, very small old lady with spectacles, should be negated by the diversion.
I suspect that Thames has had its share of unusual happenings in the past, so this one, should find its place in the 'Halls of Fame,' and me---well-----one has to seek 'outside the box' solutions to vexing problems.' If we get caught---Perdy has promised to 'eat the evidence!'

I wonder who is going to be murdered in the Tauranga Library this Thursday night!

Come and join me for this fun event. I do not think very much blood will be shed so your nerves will be safe.
I am in very good company re the other guests and unfortunately, I will not have the hard print version of my book, Talk To me. If you wish to read the book before attending the evening, just go to my website and download it---follow the links from Neil's Books.
Happy reading. See you Thursday, 5.30 pm 8th June.
Perdy (SPOT!) is the little Jack Russell star in the book--TALK TO ME.

Perdy IS Spot in Talk To me. She plays a crucial part in resolving the 'terrible crime.' Just look at that face and see the talent, the determination in her to catch the 'criminal.'


www.authorneilcoleman.com

Thinking is dangerous or I just have too much time on my hands. Read on.

Two young people, one female and the other male woke up one morning, on a school camp. They had been told about the day's activities, the night before, during the meeting that occurred each night before 'lights' out.' The day was going to have a task that involved building a shelter to keep them dry for their 'being left alone for the night,' activity. I am sure some of you have experienced similar activities, in your youth, maybe in the Scouts, of Guides, era of your lives.

Next morning the two found themselves, sitting on the beach, near the looking out at the tide as it encroached on the stony shorline. One of their friends arrived, with a tray with two mugs of coffee, delivering them, then leaving.

The girl took a mug without a handle and the boy, the mug with a handle. There was no reason for their choices, as they hardly noticed the differences. The girl quickly placed hers beside her to allow the cup to cool a little before the tea. The boy started drinking. Neither talked. They were friends and appeared to be quite comfortable with the silence that accompanied their time by the beach. They had, however, briefly mentioned the plans for the day.

From time to time, the girl picked up her mug, only to place it back beside her, as the cup was still a little on the hot side.Meanwhile, the boy had almost finished his mug, before the girl finally took more than a quick sip.

He finished and stood up, saying, 'Well, I guess I know what I need to do. I saw some dry branches back on the track and I better get them before the others do, because we are not allowed to cut down any tree branches that are still growing.'

He moved off, leaving his friend to continue her vigil by the beach. Her thoughts turned back to her task for the day. She had already dismissed the branches, her friend had mentioned, thinking that they had probably already been snapped up by one of their classmates, who had risen earlier in the morning.

She put her cup aside as she had finally finished her drink. A thought had been growing, coming to fruition as she had sat quietly by her friend and now she seized upon it and looked towards the incoming tide. They had been sitting well above the high tide mark and the weather was good, and she remembered the weather forecast for the next twenty-four hours---settled and calm weather.

Why build using branches and why not use the sand itself? she thought. 

Later that night as the sun went down, the teachers checked on the classmates. Some had built shelters using branches, others, driftwood and a few, other flotsam from the beach. Given the nearby shipping lanes, there was a large variety of the later---of dubious origins. The teachers were pleasantly surprised by the 'dwelling' the girl had constructed. Indeed, they may well have missed it completely, as it was mostly below the level of the beach, with just a small part, showing, that using a few twigs, with a section of plastic---or was it an old car door, such was its level of 'decay?'

The next evening, back at the main camp, the two friends discussed how they had arrived at their two very different styles of construction. They asked three very different questions:

Did they think differently because they approached the task from a gender difference?

Did one of them have a more 'engineering/technical strength' to their makeup?

Did the fact that one of the mugs had no handle, thereby causing the girl to take longer to sit and think, make the difference?

There we have the point of my blog. I have time to come up with such HUGE questions and the 'nonchalance,' to put them to paper---or keyboard! It's over to you to put your spin on the 'other' stuff.

Restorative justice session needed in the hen house!

Today, two new hens came to join my family in Tararu. I introduced them to Super Hen and the girls and left them to it.I figured they would all 'work things out,' whilst Perdy and I went for a walk in the park. When I arrived back home, I headed to the hen pen to see how they were getting on.
My four 'originals' were singing and making much ado about---what? There was much clucking and prancing, but no sign of the two newbies. I entered their inner sanctum and there, in the corner was one frightened hen, ensconced in a alying box. To my horror, one of my girls approached the new hen and stood over her, as if to say--'you are in our house,' so watch your step, you feathery piece of flotsum!'
Then, it hit me. Where was the other new arrival? I searched the enclosure, inside and out, but no----there was no vestige of her presence. She was either a damned good hide-and-seek artist, or she had absconded
I guess it's a waiting game now, to see if she shows her face. I shall take a walk around my sectiion and those nearby, to see if she is hiding. This happened when I first took ownership of the 'originals,' so I am not too concerned. Hell---I haven't even had time to 'bond' with the new girls yet, so the emotional attachment hasn't kicked in.
BUT---come back soon dearest new hen. The others will meet with you for a restorative justice session, so that we can all move on, with no blame stance, or bad feelings. Besides---I need you to start producing. This is after all---about the eggs! Let's all be winners!!!!

'Big wheels keep on turning'---a year from the bedlam!

It's hard to believe, but this old dude has now been a year in Thames. Yes, just on a year ago, I left the 'big smoke,' I left the big wheel,' that is Auckland and found a new place, one steeped in history and immersed in beauty.
I look back at my 55 years in Auckland with mixed feelings. Of course, I have many happy memories of that city, that grew from 460,000 people when we first arrived in 1960, to a huge city (from the NZ perspective) of about 1.5 million people. The changed in other ways. It became a  very diverse city, rich in the many cultures, but one that is in danger of choking in its own growth. NZers love affair with cars is perhaps the reason and building more highways is just not going to alleviate that issue anytime soon.
I left behind many friends in the city across the water. I know they are still there and with the social media connections that did not exist way back, it feels like they are right next door. So, I did not have to say goodbye, more like, pop in, either online or in person. Hey---it can be a faster journey to Thames from the southern reaches of the city than it is in rush 'hour' (more like hours!) for people in the far-flung suburbs to reach Central Auckland.
I do not work full-time now. I reached that magic age, whereby one gets back a little from the State in the form of Superannuation. Yes, it is hard to live on and expect to be able to spend on ones every 'wants,' but with a little bit of work---one day a week,' I feel like I have about the same spending power I had whilst paying a mortgage in Auckland. I never realised until I released that debt, just how much of a hold it had on me, limiting me in so many ways. I believe that many Aucklanders are in a delicate financial position, re the mortgages and rents they pay, that go way above a comfortable level, causing them to live from payday to payday. I wonder how many have loaded debt onto their mortgages and credit cards in the belief that 'things will improve.'
I walk a great deal in this beautiful area, backed by hauntingly lovely hills, streams and kissed by the Firth of Thames. Stones of a myriad of colours festoon the beaches, with glimpses of Kauri Gum, carried down the rain filled streams after a storm, to be discovered on my walks. Along with the driftwood, I have plans for these gifts of nature. Watch this space!
I fill my non-working days with walking, writing, voluntary work, reading, preserving the produce from my garden, looking after the chooks and and have absolutrly no guilt in losing myself in 'condersations;' that come out of meeting peolle in  the streets and cafes of Thames, to the pont that I often forget where I have parked my car!
Perdy, my special Jack Russell has made her own 'splash,' becoming well-known as a hero dog who saves people and maki g friends with anyone who stoops to pat her. yes, she escapes from time to time, giving me heart flutters (Not joking here!) but contributing to my life and helping me to make friends, just as she did in Auckland.
When I look back o this year that has passed so quickly, I wonder where the time went. I know I can't be called a 'local.' and will always be a JAR (Just another refugee!) but I am well content with the decision to live here---on the Coast,' in the place that dreamed of---for a few years, before I actually listened to those creams.
I have not forgotten Auckland and I shall visit in my little blue Hyundai for as long as the drive does not consume me with too much dread. You can help me keep the links, by dropping in, to sample the good stuff from my garden and the kitchen, perhaps taking away a polished stone from the Coast, representing my new life and maybe---the promise of a 'new direction,' for you.

Talk Back Radio!!!!! Love it or hate it----The origin of 'Talk To Me'---the book

There is a very fine line between love and hate. Both emotions are felt strongly, affecting us in so many ways. One can be up, one moment and then down in the dumps, the next. Such is my relationship----with Talkback radio.
I have often used it as a 'background,' whilst driving, doing housework (OK---the latter ---not so much, as housework is a waste of time at my place when it inevitably gets 'done again' by a partner who refuses to pass my paltry efforts as being 'good enough.' Sometimes, there is a 'thread,' re the conversation and I turn up the volume, only to be dumped, angered, entertained, but rarely 'enlightened.'
The 'wisdom' exhibited by the callers is mind-blowing, not because of the level of so-called knowledge, but more from how it represents the level that our collective knowldge has sunken to. Throw in the 'taunting' and somewhat manipulative approach from the various 'hosts' (They vary re their arrogance!) and you have a hotchpotch of all that is talkback radio.
One needs to decide BEFORE embarking on a 'listening experience,' between taking talkback radio as entertainment, or as an example of an 'informed debate, led by a sympathetic and inclusive host. I think that last part of the previous sentence almost has me throwing up!
OK---I admit to experiencing the occasional well-informed contribution and sensitive response and questioning from the hosts, but in general, I see talkback radio as being no more than a reflection of just how diverse our opinions and stances are re various issues. That is fine, but when such views are expressed via talkback radio, they are underlined by the fact that the radio stations are in this for one reason only---to get listeners and therefore to bring in the 'advertising dollar.'
A host can be skilful, in 'keeping a 'thread going,' by playing the Devil's Advocate.' Hell---some even admit that. But then there are others who consistently come from a 'particular point of view,' being dismissive of anything that goes against their 'held view.'
I am sure those of you who lsiten to talkback radio, have your favourite hosts. You probably save YOUR contributions for that time when your favourite is on the radio,  that is if you are brave enough to ring up and let loose.
My 'fascination' and viewpoint on the 'talkback radio industry,' led me to write a book about how I see things, albeit in a cynical, humorous (maybe not!) and OK---a 'take-the-piss' kind of manner. I  included another aspect of my life in the book---my attachment' to my crazy Jack Russell. I did not intend TALK TO ME to be a serious expose of the talkback radio industry because I do not have that knowledge, but nevertheless, some aspects, hidden in the narrative, do come through.
Imagine my surprise, when I heard that TALK TO ME has been nominated for the Ngaio Marsh Crime Writers Awards. It is up against books that are far more complex and skillfully written. My efforts were nothing more than to entertain, with a little bit of a swipe at the 'industry.' Spot (Perdy--of Tararu/Thames fame) plays a central role--a fun role. I get my chance to discuss the book at the 'Murder in The Library,' series at the Tauranga Library on June 8th at 5.30. Feel free to join me.
You can read it by going to my website and following the links from Neils Books. Hell, if I get enough downloads from the site--at about $3 a shot) I may be able to afford to bring it out in hard copy and sell it at the various venues, alongside ROSKILL, in the Thames/Hairaki area. Go and check it out.
If  not---well---you always have talkback radio to fall back on to be 'informed, misinformed, entertained and totally--pissed off!~
www.authorneilcoleman.com

Perdy (Spot--in Talk To Me)

There is a day for every occasion, so why not------

I live with someone who thinks that 'life' revolves around her. I have to clean up after her, cook all the meals, entertain her and her friends and believe me---that entails all of the 'in-fighting, gossip and intrigue,' plus the fall-outs!

Don't even think about the shopping---it keeps me broke because she thinks money grows on trees. Yes---it's me who does all the driving while she talks endlessly, expecting me to 'understand' all of her little schemes and plans for 'our' future.

The 'look:' I am sure you all understand that. I get it constantly. One would think I would be immune to it by now. But no---she keeps coming up with new 'looks,' that get under my skin. Yes, I cave in, knowing that she will make my life miserable if I do not attend to her every need.

They say that life is a journey, I agree. That I have had and still have quite a few years left with this little lady, is all good by me. Yes---for those of you similarly inflicted or even---conflicted, with a Jack Russell, you are truly blessed.

Let's start a movement for a special day---'Love Your Jack Russell, Day!' Am I joking?

www.authorneilcoleman.com