Monday, February 17, 2014

News flash! Lord Craig to meet his 'detractor, Norman, the 'commoner,' at dawn in the sacred shadow of Parliament!

‘Thou needs to be chastised, my foulest of enemies,’ cried Lord Craig.
‘How have I offended you, mate,’ replied the very canny Norman.
‘Cast your thoughts back to the most foulest of utterances you issued a week back at that abomination of a festival you attended,’ Lord Craig hissed.
‘Oh, you mean the Big Gay Out,’ Norman said, with a knowing smirk on his face.
Lord Craig sauntered towards his enemy with that loping unusual gait he exhibits when anywhere near a camera and reached into his vest, producing a bejewelled glove with which he struck the unsuspecting Norman across the face.
‘I challenge thee to meet me in the sacred shadows of Parliament, to which I shall soon be a member,’ Lord Craig screamed in a manner that bespoke terrible consequences.
Norman recovered. After all he had been a member of that august body for quite a few years and well understood the attraction that such an institution held for the person who had so viciously struck him, but being of a forgiving nature he simply replied, ‘Lord Craig, you do me a disservice; surely you understand the rules of the ‘game’ better than to reverting to times gone by, I which one relies on naked violence to resolves ones pain.’
Lord Craig was not to be calmed; indeed his anger merely increased.
‘You will meet me or I shall have you dragged before the ‘King’s Council, upon which time you will retract your ghastly accusations.
Norman considered his response, not a state of mind that he always achieved, but he had learnt from previous experiences re the unhappy ‘Lord.’
‘I’ll tell you what,’ Norman said somewhat mischievously,’ You choose the weapons, although I hear there is a really good sword maker over at Weta Workshops, who may be able to help, or perhaps you would prefer something from Star wars?’
Lord Craig seemed a little perplexed at the very helpful reply from his opponent and stepped back, just a little before replying.
‘I shall do as you suggest and bring my ‘second,’ Johnnie. You must choose yours and we shall meet within the time it takes for the moon to rest for the day on the morrow.’ He struck out his shoulders and left the bemused Norman to consider his options.
Norman took only a few seconds before calling out, ‘Lord Craig, if I am not there, just start without me---is that not a state that you are truly familiar with?’
Lord Craig did not respond. He was far too busy planning his next encounter with the man who would expose him as yet another ‘friend’ of Johns; the man whom he trusted---well sort of.
Norman chuckled to himself as he too pondered upon his recent dalliances with the ‘big man in the mansion.’

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