My books are now with some distributors.

If you want to read my books, don't forget to check out your local library, especially if you are in NZ and Australia. Go to my website for the titles and ISBN numbers. www.authorneilcoleman.com Then request the books. If they don't know, just ask them to Google them or to look at my website.
Things are starting to happen....?

Yellow Submarine---no---a Jack Russell!

No, I am not smashed, high or in any other altered state. I am sure you all know about yellow submarines, but less of you would be familiar with yellow Jack Russells. It does not mean I am about to describe a new breed of Jack Russell but I am going to tell you a tale.

Yesterday was my first day back at school for the last term (Yippee). This entails Perdy being back on her own for the day. I may bring her to work for the occasional treat but she’s actually fine at home now. However when I do arrive back after work she is like a wound up spring, ready to unleash all sorts of horrors on the unprepared. I of course am prepared.

I’m out of my car and inside while she runs around like a demonic hairy ball, jumping at my legs, propelling me towards the toilet---yeah she seems to know the pattern. Then she lurches onto the couch waiting for me to gather the necessaries. That means her ‘rewards’ and anything else I may need, like my so-called weather-proof coat (that’s another story).

Perdy stands on the top of the couch facing the door in readiness for me to pick her up and move on out to the car. Her tail assails me relentlessly and her whimperings begin. All the way down to the Bay she alters between running from side to side of the back seat (she is restrained, otherwise she is quite capable of placing herself on the windowsill of the front of the car) and watching traffic and dogs on the footpath.

By the time we arrive in the car park, she is at fever pitch. Out she jumps, once I release her and she shoots across the sand, casting her backward glances to see if I have unleashed the orange ball. It bounces; sometimes just in front of her and her little body contorts in mid-air as she tries to gather it in. She is often successful at catching it before it commences a bounce that mirrors her pent-up energy.

After about three throws, she heads off into the grassy part of the park. She likes her privacy when she needs the toilet. Luckily for me, that means she goes way off the beaten track. Unfortunately, that means dropping the ball somewhere along the way as nature’s calls and demands total attention. Yeah—sometimes she forgets where she dropped the ball and at about $12 a piece, I don’t like her losing them.

Today’s excursion took on an unfortunate twist. She couldn’t find the ball even though I exhorted her to try harder. I’ll give her credit---she doesn’t easily give in. She circles, runs in grid patterns and noses the ground. She didn’t find her ball, but she did manage to find something exciting---for her.

When she appeared back at my side, having given in, she was a changed Jack Russell. I have never seen one like her in the literature. My God---evolution is a wonderful thing, when achieved at breakneck pace. The white was heavily disguised and the black dots all but gone. Perdy was a ‘changeling’----she was yellow. Then it hit me---- the stink! ----Imagine falling into a vat filled with rotten fish and other decaying matter. Multiply the effect and add on a memory of a truly revolting smell--- the kind that you would rather forget.

I could smell Perdy from five plus metres away. Action time! The tide was going out rapidly and I needed to get the miscreant yellow creature into the tide fast. I threw the spare ball into the water and she retrieved it. She was still yellow. I threw the ball out further, risking the possibility of the ball going out under the motorway, hopefully not with Perdy.

She was still yellow and the stink was undiminished. What to do? I resigned myself into continuing the walk and hoping that she would roll in the clean grass and take the evil smell and yellowing filth away. We met two of our friends who had arrived earlier. They took one look at Perdy and told me that one of their dogs had found the same pile of---whatever it was. Our theory was that a dog had found some rotting stuff, probably of a fishy nature and then thrown up. Perdy and the other dogs had found that and rolled themselves silly in it.

I made Perdy jump into the receding tide several times and encouraged her to stay well away from me. It all made little difference. There was only one solution. Bath night Perdy! The other walker shad gone and I made my way towards the car park. Perdy did her usual sniffing down holes, hoping to discover a rat. Hell, any rat would have been very safe. The stink would have warned of Perdy’s presence from many meters away.

I opened the door and for once, Perdy just jumped in. As far as she was concerned, she had Channel No5 on.  I decided that I needed a good pet shampoo. Off to the Pet Shop. I came out with a shampoo and a herbal soap. The drive home was like a journey that couldn’t end quickly enough for me. No stopping at the shop for an ice block! As soon as I arrived home, I put her lead on and took her to the bathroom. Perdy quite likes baths so that was no big deal. I washed her thoroughly----once with the shampoo and then again with the soap.

She stood calmly while I blow-dried her. Then it was that crazy thing dogs do when they have had a bath. She ran like a Jack Russell---around and around. I’m sure she felt good. But--- there was still a lingering stink. My partner came home and insisted on repeating the whole process. Perdy had another bath. It was then that we realized that she had inadvertently passed the stink to me. It had somehow transferred as I was bathing her. Off came my clothes and into the washing they went.

Yuck----and guess what. The trip to work the next morning was so bad; the smell was still in my car. I think we shall be going to the Car wash to get an insider-job done this weekend.

Yellow dogs are not my cup of tea!

David Shearer has been criticized because he is not a muck-raker.

Such a label is not one that David should worry about. There are enough muck-rakers in Parliament from all parties. One would hope that the ‘alternate government leader’ would present with a little more dignity and in that sense, the Leader of the Opposition has done just that.

Calls for him to take a firmer stand over the Kim. DotCom affair should remain just that---calls which can be ignored. We don’t need him involved other than at a support level for his henchmen who are more than capable of taking it to the Government.

If David Shearer has anything to contribute on the above matter, he should keep it to issues that the sorry sage brought to light---that is the position and actions our security services have taken. There is enough ugly debate out there that threatens to take the lime-light off more important issues, like unemployment, Foreign Policy just to mention two.

We have seen fractious and nasty leaders in the past, and going back to behaviours that belong elsewhere will do nothing for NZ politics.

So David, yes you need a higher profile, but not at the expense of decency and providing a credible choice for us in 2014.

40,000---I want a million!

 am very happy with the number if hits on my blogs, but that one million is way into the future. The number of countries is incrfeasing too. How about South Africa joins eh. Now i just wish it would translate into book sales.   www.authorneilcoleman.com  

Are secondary students going back to school with a feeling of hope?

Some may be, but I question that hope by saying that all the move to youth wages will do is shift those looking for work back onto the older workers as they lose their jobs to cheaper workers. The latest move by the Government is a cynical ploy to remove young people from the dole figures. Where are the jobs going to be coming from?

There is nothing new about this new policy. I see people quoting figures from before 2008, but they neglect to tell us about the consequent figures for those older than 50 who were unemployed. Playing with the 'deck chairs' is nothing more than 'Titanic politics.'

Columbus in Onehuga has changed hands---is it as good?

I think that you can say that with the Columbus franchise you can guarantee that that you will get a good value meal or snack. The Columbus café in Onehunga always was good, with a hardworking and friendly staff. I noticed a few weeks ago that the personal were different. I don’t know when the ownership changed; it could have happened ages ago for all I know.

Today, it was a bit windy and cold, so we decided to have a brunch at a cafe that has a nice sheltered décor, in other words inside. That meant of course I couldn’t take Perdy---she’s fine in the outside back part at Columbus on a nice day.

Now, to the main point---is Columbus in Onehunga as good as it was. In short, yes, it is. The choice of food is always good at all Columbus establishments, so I guess there is a fairly standard menu. It did feel like there were a few additions, and if they were unique, then good on them. We both enjoyed our food although there was a slight muck-up, possibly through our lack of being clear about the gluten free toast (I got it and didn’t notice, while my companion missed out). What stood out was the length the staff went to fix the problem. They brought some gluten free toast and didn’t charge the extra they could have.

Onehunga is a fabulous place to search out a café for the weekend breakfast as there is so much choice. There are maybe ten to choose from and its growing. Columbus is a choice that you should never regret. Well done!

You get what you pay for---generally.

I am sure many of us have been ‘guilty’ of grabbing a bargain when we can. There are lots of them out there and the big retail chains are very good at sucking us into their shops. You have all seen the signs---“50%-70% off.” Off we go with our credit cards warming in our wallets. We have forgotten the warnings from the various watchdogs (e.g. Consumer magazine) who tell us that some of these claims are spurious to say the least. What’s that you say? Give us an example.

OK, off I go to a nearby well-known house ware and goodies store. It has been in the news quite a bit for misleading advertising. I won’t name it in case they come and chase me. I was looking for a decent umbrella or shade device to protect me from the hot sun, especially in the summer.

The store was busy and as usual it was quite difficult to find anyone who could help with ‘expert’ advice. Perhaps the reason for the much reduced prices is that the store makes savings by having very few staff. Add on the fact that most of their merchandise is made in China and the mark-ups are actually huge, so there is a great deal of leeway when it comes to pricing.

There were a few umbrellas but what caught my eye was a one where it swung out and made for easy arrangement of deck furniture. Can’t you feel a Titanic statement coming on here? The price! Wow! --- $79 down from nearly $400. I just had to have it. I paid for delivery and shot off home. As it turned out a few days later it had still not arrived. They had stuffed up the order. Don’t go thinking that just because you have paid for it and you have seen them write down the facts as needed, that you will have a seamless business deal. Eventually it arrived.

I so wish that I had kept the receipt. As I often do, I lose it---- yip that’s my fault. It could have given me the facility to get a refund or a new umbrella. In barley a week it had come away from the top, meaning that it was more difficult to run out and I had to work my own little miracle just to make it sort of work.

Now looking back, I wish even more that I had done what I should have---taken the bloody thing back and throwing it on the floor in a fit of rage. Some ion my family could have manage that, albeit it in a ‘polite’ fashion. Looking back I have to say that this umbrella was the biggest piece of shite I have ever seen. If the wind was more than a gentle Zephyr, I had to quickly take kit down, because I could tell that it would disintegrate and [possibly end up in the next suburb. The said device now has pride of place, ripped and broken to shreds, on top of my shed, awaiting the next Council collection.

The moral of my little ditty---‘You usually do get what you pay for.’ I shall go out and seek a quality product and know that it will last more than a portion of one season. Any suggestions?