Do you have to choose between God and the Devil?

Provocative? Good---then hit back—say something. Call me names--- I’m a big boy! (It’s true).

This one is pointed right at the situation my friends in the USA face. When I look at the candidates the Republicans face, I really feel for them. Where the hell do these people come from? ‘Middle America’ and the ‘Good Old Boys must be drinking up large in an effort to throw some clarity into their decision making processes. Lets look at some of the choices you have.

It seems that for two of the characters (maybe more) religion plays an important part of their make-up. Romney’s faith is probably a ‘sticking point’ for many Republicans. I don’t think it is the same as the position Kennedy was in when he became President. Somehow Catholicism doesn’t scare people quite so much as the spectre of a Mormon President. I know a lot of your commentators are not putting it as bluntly as me, but I wish I was a fly on the wall in some of the bars across America--- I bet there are some hard-assed assessments, flowing as freely as a well-topped beer.

That’s OK though, because you have plenty of other wonderful candidates to choose from--- or do you? Mr Santorum is something else---- what? He also springs from the Bible-Belt. I wonder what his stance is for ‘Evolution.’ Listening to some of the crackpot comments he has made in the last few weeks, makes one wonder who he represents. His vision for the USA is quite scary.

The stance the above candidates take on issues like abortion, gays in the military, marriage, single parents, just to name a few, leaves one thinking that any progress the more liberal politicians have battled for over the last few decades is seriously at risk of being unravelled.

The other two candidates, Gingrich and Paul, may not be as ‘out there’ in their positions, but seriously, is the USA going to elect and ‘oldie’ or a ‘has been?’ OOOH --- I can hear you say. What would a Kiwi know about American politics?  Hheheheheheh--- (Sounds maniacal eh). Enough to say   that Obama must be laughing all the way back to refurbishing the White House.  

On ‘paper,’ I believe that the American system of government is the best in the world. It is an incredible model that many nations around the world have tried to copy, but fallen well short of achieving even a murky image of the real thing. It’s a pity that the ‘paper’ version doesn’t flow through into the reality of everyday life. I think many Americans don’t even bother to vote or take part in a way that portrays---OF THE PEOPLE, BY THE PEOPLE, FOR THE PEOPLE.

Vietnam, Afganistan, Iraq---Iran?

Do we ever learn? BY ‘we’ I mean the old Colonial’ powers and the USA, and by the inclusion of our relationships (trade and historical) it always manages to get NZ involved in some way. The Soviet Union learnt the hard way, by getting its nose poked when it had its little adventure in Afghanistan. France may have learnt in Algeria and Vietnam and Great Britain in Afghanistan in the late 19^th Century.

There are few examples of a major power winning when they attempted to invade or ‘protect tier interests, from list of countries at the start of my blog. Perhaps the Brits came closest in the Malayan emergency in the early 50’s.

But still, we see action in the Middle East. I am sure we all understand the link between oil and strategic issues like free access to shipping lanes. Little has changed in the years since WW2.

We used to follow Britain---‘where you go we follow.’ That lasted right up to the Falkland’s war in the 80’s. We may not have sent troops, but we freed up a British ship so that it could support the war effort in the South Atlantic--- what is that--- support by proxy?

The USA came to our aid in WW2 when there was a very real danger that Japan would venture far enough south and we have linked our fate to that of the new Super-Power ever since. Vietnam followed Korea and along with our contributions to United Nations causes, we have been in most scraps, led by the USA.

Some would say that ‘trade interests’ and the fear of been left alone have been strong pulls to jump on the USA lead quest to keep the world a ‘safe place.’

Has it worked? Is there any country where peace reigns as result of these interventions? As I have said in my previous blog in this issue, it is the poor who pay and the rich who gain. Of course there are lots of examples of Ivy-League graduates who have given their lives, but in the same proportions? --- I doubt it.

I am so sad to keep seeing that young soldiers from the USA led coalition forces are paying the price; with their blood and their horrible injuries; then to return to civilian life unable to follow their dreams. ‘Small-town USA and Britain have paid the price.

This is not a rave against the people of the USA (and others). It is a plea. Once again I say--- GET OUT! You can’t do anything right. If it’s not burning sacred books, it’s bombing innocent civilians and villages.

Look at Iraq and Afghanistan. There is a resurgence of anti-American sentiment. Do they really want you there? (And NZ Special Forces?).

Now, there is the threat of Iran. That really scares me. It is going beyond ‘Sabre-rattling.’ The prospect of Iran possessing nuclear weapons and a jittery Israel really throws a massive hammer into the works. Is that the background to what compares to the position Europe was in with the rise of Nazi Germany?

This is where my argument for the USA to back-off comes apart. I admit it. Nothing is ever simple. I very much doubt that there will be any energy on the part of the Euro-zone (except maybe Britain) to enter into another fray, this time with Iran.

Add a bit of the irrationality of extremist clerical states and the picture is even more uncertain. I bet the ‘Armageddon brigade,’ is having a field day and the manufacturers of cardboard for the inevitable signs stating that ‘the end is nigh,’ are doing really well.

In summary, I still say, pull back as much as you can USA--- you can’t do it on your own. To my Russian friends--- I feel for you. There are deep issues that you are facing. I hope your elections later in the week, are free of corruption and manipulation. I would have thought you have seen enough of extremism. You don’t need a new Tsar or rampant Stalinist visitation.

China? --- Well—you have a lot of catch-up, but you too need to come on board and not just oppose everything that the USA represents. You are now well and truly ensconced in the real world of the new world order.

Ain’t it all one big f---p

Onehunga does it again--another great cafe-CAFETRAN

Yes, another great café on Onehunga main street. We are quite spoilt for choice in this lovely old suburb. Did you know that in the early days (especially at the time of the ‘Land Wars.’) Onehunga rivalled the Port of Auckland, mainly because it was closer to Australia, in a direct line from the Manukau Heads. Therein we can see the reason for its gradual demise as the ‘premier port.’ The Manukau Bar and its treacherous, shifting channels claimed many ships and hundreds of lives; the Orpheus wreck being the most notorious.

Despite this tragic history, Onehunga has undergone something of a revival in recent years. Yes, there were various attempts to draw in the shoppers; perhaps the one that most of us remember as a dismal failure was the partially covered ‘mall’ experience. I don’t know why it didn’t work, but it just felt seedy and the shops gradually left the main street.

When the giant Dressmart arrived, even more shops left, leaving the main drag to be filled with numerous Two Dollar shops. Thankfully, things have changed. Queen Street and the newer complex seem to have worked out a comfortable balance and they now merge gracefully at the fringes. The cafes that have sprung up in the last five years and the resurrection of the rail service all add up to a really buzzy feeling. I look forward to seeing how new ventures and the return of some mainstream shops works out.

Now---- to my visit to one of the newer cafes. It is always a difficult decision, trying to choose which café to have breakfast or brunch. (I wonder if you are noticing the dubious link between this blog and my ‘Fat Bugger’ series). We have been to CafeTran before, so I thought in light of the fact that I have blogged one of the others, it’s only fair that I start blogging some of the others.  (I will get to them all eventually).

CafeTran is on the right hand side of Queen Street, going towards the bridge at the far end of the mall. Parking is OK, it is even possible to park quite near, or go for the car parks in the back streets.

The staff made us feel welcome as we picked up the menu. We didn’t need it, because two choices almost sprang out at us from the blackboard menu. We ordered immediately but then struck a problem--- the Electronic Transfer Machine, wasn’t working. I had cash (unusual for me) but there were two banks within twenty or so metres, so it shouldn’t have been a problem, judging by the few empty tables (both in an out) it had not stopped others from finding a solution either).

WE didn’t have to wait long for our meals and the coffees arrived even sooner. I must say that the waiter ‘played’ with us by saying to my sister, ‘Here is your bunny.’ I was confused (surprise surprise). I looked dumbly at my sister. Her face broke out into a smile. My coffee wasn’t a bunny—it was a teddy bear. Check out the picture and you will see what I mean.

I was halfway through my ‘teddy bear,’ when my food arrived. I had ordered fish and chips with a salad. Forget about the normal fare one might expect from a café. It was beautifully presented. The generous, single piece of fish was placed artfully upon just the right amount of chips that I can only describe as being way above the soggy versions one can experience elsewhere. The salad that accompanied the dish contained a range of fresh-looking (no brown edges on this salad) leaves, with a very light dressing. Two little dishes of sauce and mayonnaise completed the presentation. I had the distinct feeling that I needed to ignore the ‘guilt-trip’ that so often goes along with the above dish.

My sister had order an ‘Asian Omelette. She sent back the toast (we had forgotten to tell them that she could only eat Gluten-free bread) and cut into the omelette. It was packed full of deliscio0us offerings, including, coriander, spring onions, peppers and a little chilli. She was more than satisfied with the omission of the toast.

Overall, we were very satisfied with the food. It is a noisy and busy café, so don’t go there if you want a quiet conversation, but then why would you go to an empty café--- what does that tell you?

Well done CafeTran. It will be hard walking past you to the other great cafes in Onehunga.

Fat Bugger ---part 4

How have I been going?  I am not going to give you a list of all the bad things I have eaten. I am sure you have all seen the list in the NZ Herald of all of the foods that are ‘said to be bad for people trying to lose weight.’ What do I make of it?

I have to say it is a bit like the ‘Tui’s’ Advertisement. For those of you who haven’t got a clue what I am talking about, suffice it to say that NZ is a bit like the PC (Political Correctness) capital of the world. Just imagine a bunch of young Kiwi blokes and some scantily clad young ladies. Put that mix into an advert for beer and chuck in a bit of ‘harmless’ imagery, some laughable scenarios (Oh, damn---just Google Tui TV Ads and maybe it will come up and you will get the picture). The debate in NZ (it’s all over the talkback radio shows at the moment) has created quite a discussion. On one side you get the Feminists who talk out ‘sexualizing young women,’ and on the other, and I suspect it is the vast majority, who say that ‘what’s wrong with a bit of harmless fun. I shall leave you to make-up your own mind.

The ‘great food debate,’ about all the foods we shouldn’t eat, especially fatties like me--- well it has taken on a similar theme. The debate ranges from the—‘OMG--- the ‘food Nazis are back, telling us how to live our lives.’ The list came from some researchers at Otago University, one of our excellent tertiary institutions in NZ. To be fair---there isn’t anything unusual on the list and it should be seen as a guideline, but then again; the researches just don’t get it. How many diets (Damn—I said I wasn’t going to use that word) are internally flawed, simply by the fact that they restrict certain foods, or ban them altogether. Don’t they understand human nature? What does the ‘body’ do if it is deprived of a favourite food---- IT REBELS, and no amount of pontificating about ‘being strong’ or getting real will make a difference.

Many of my friends and colleagues, get on the ‘YO YO train.’ Isn’t that a bit pointless? The weight goes back on and then some. Denying a ‘treat’ can only lead to an eventual blow-out and all of the guilt that entails. The end result? --- We give up again until the next round. This list just feeds into that scenario.

So it’s back to the simple; ‘you have to burn more than what you put in.’ So, it’s balance and getting as much exercise as you can. Do what I did--- get a dog. At least I have stopped putting weight on and I am definitely fitter and have more energy. Am I losing weight? I don’t really know, because I only weigh myself once every three months at the doctors and once he has chased me around his office, trying to get me on the scales---- well I shall tell you after the next visit in about two and a half months. Now a ‘to make you feel better at someone else’s expense story’. Aren’t I an evil bugger?

I was sitting down at the little beach near where I live. A tiny Nissan pulled up. There were two people in the car, one in the front (the driver), and one in the back seat. A little lady jumped out of the back and waited patiently for her friend. What was only seconds, but felt like an eternity, passed as the lady driver ‘poured, stretched, and struggled to escape from the driver’s seat. I have no idea what possessed her to drive such a tiny little car. I had mixed feelings, ranging from sadness at her plight and yes, a bit of---‘at least I ain’t that big, eh?’ She looked incredibly uncomfortable and I can only imagine what health problems were lurking in her huge body. I could hear her strained breathing from about five metres away. It made me think----‘I must get on top of this.’

I looked at my lunch. Oh, I had forgotten to tell you that I had been to a bakery on the way to the beach and about the ‘food from the list,’ I had brought, stemming from some sort of rebellious thoughts I had been harbouring all day. I had discarded the idea of fruit juice and settled for a ‘sugar-free’ option, but I had purchased a meat pie (that’s a real Australasian icon, folks in the USA and elsewhere) and a high calorie chocolate slice, much like an American Brownie. (Yes that’s what we call it here--- is that PC in the USA? ---LOL).

I consumed the puffy-pastried pie, savouring every last morsel, while the marauding seagulls looked greedily on. Suddenly, the lady looked my way and at the slice, poised at the entrance to my mouth, hovering just out of reach of my salivating tongue. Her gaze shifted to the gulls, seemingly daring me to throw it at them. I may have been in the car, but she could tell that I was but a smaller version of her. I smiled and threw the remains of the slice at the birds, feeling little better that I had only consumed a miniscule portion.

Wouldn’t you know it---? the bloody seagulls, took a peck and then ignored it--- surely they hadn’t read the article in the Herald? The lady smiled and it seemed that we understood one another. We both have a battle on our hands. Looking back in the rear vision mirror as I drove away, the gulls were still ignoring the now melting slice. Maybe the rats would eat it!

Sometimes I wonder why the USA-----

Sometimes I wonder why the USA gets itself into these stupid overseas ‘adventures.’ You know the ones I mean--- like, Vietnam in the 60’s and early 70’s and the current escapade in Afghanistan. Of course they are not alone--- they have dragged in quite a few ‘friend’s, including the Eurozone countries and the ANZACS.

To be blunt, I guess we do it curry favour, for trade and possibly some imagined future protection; we think we will need at some stage. Long gone are the days when we could call on Mother England and I doubt that our burgeoning relationship with China is going to deliver in that area.

So why is it that the good old USA acts as the world’s ‘policeman?’ Who gains? We all know the military/industrial sector gains, purely from a financial perspective and that is a mainstay of the American economy. We also understand that access to oil has long been a driving force for foreign policy. But is there something else?

The USA has been influential on the world stage for many decades, possibly even before WW2, and for a while after the demise of the Cold War and the dissolution of the old Soviet Union, it has had the stage to itself. Now, however, it watches the rear view mirror as China slowly but surely gains ground. Then there are a raft of emerging nations (Brazil, India) playing catch-up, at the expense of the old colonial European-zone nations.

But the USA still sees itself as the dominant nation. My question is--- who pays for this self-delusion? The answer is simple--- not the banks, or the other big companies, because you can be sure that they will have ‘hedged’ themselves against huge losses.

It is of course the common and should I say it--- the ordinary citizen. To stretch the point a little further, it is the young guys and women who make up the vast majority of the armed forces, who face being bombed, shot at, vilified and God knows what else, who hold the torch for the politicians and the untouchable wealthy. We have seen it all before in the 19^th Century, when the arms manufacturers, managed to make huge profits, no matter which country they hailed from.

I would like to think, that at some stage, the USA will get the message and start looking after its wonderful people in a very different way, and stop trying to fight unwinnable wars. I’m not saying that a return to ‘Isolationism’ is the answer--- but take a hard look at yourself USA--- and get out and vote so that you don’t have presidents who only represent about a third of the eligible voters. Would the world fall apart if you pulled back a bit? Who says that you have to ‘contain the Taliban’ because you are standing up for human rights or some other spurious excuse?

I am sure many of you will say that my little tirade is nothing more than the naive words of someone who doesn’t see the whole picture. Perhaps I just don’t see a scorpion under every rock. I do however see too many graves with the USA military insignia proudly displayed--- for what?  You decide.

Perhaps I am also saying---‘go well--- go in peace’ and maybe, ‘let the buggers sort out their own problems,’ because unless the likes of China, India, and Russia are behind you, you are on a hiding to nothing.

COMING SOON---I AM GOING TO BLOG MY NEXT BOOK!

Yes---- Once I have the ISBN number for my next book--- I am going to stick it on here--- crazy?---- Probably. But, what have I got to lose? Maybe a publisher will pick-up on it.
So what is this 'new book?

'TALK TO ME,' is a tongue-in-cheek' 'taking the piss,' swipe at the talkback industry. It stars ME as the talk-back host and yes, my dog features too. What happens when my 'walking friends discover a body down at the Onehunga Lagoon and then a  'caller' tuunts me on the air with all sorts of challenges and then does the most outlandish, nasty  thing he could do to me---- HE BLOODY KIDNAPS MY DOG! (DOGNAPS?)
Who is behind this cruel act?

Watch out for the blog--- won't be too long.

I love Crown Lynn

If you think I have just divulged the ‘love of my life’ you are only partly correct. If you have no idea what, who, whatever Crown Lynn is then you have a choice--- you can learn by feasting your eyes on my blog or you can skip it, but I suggest you choose the former.

Most Kiwis over the age of forty will have come into contact with CL (Forgive me for the shortcut) and have no doubt compared it to the cheap crockery that now poses as ‘dinner ware.’  How many times have you dropped a piece of CL and been amazed that it didn’t break? How many of you have cursed at the nasty imports that chip as soon as they ‘touch’ another dish in your dishwasher?

Have you caught on now what I am talking about? Even my slightly older friends in parts of the USA know CL. You used to import it in the hazy past, before it became a victim of ---‘lets buy the cheaper crap’.

Crown Lynn is and was a New Zealand icon, employing about 1400 workers and artisans before its demise in the late 80’s. There would be very few homes in NZ that didn’t have at least few a pieces of CL. It featured as wedding gifts, Xmas presents and as a common everyday purchase. Many Aucklanders used to visit the factory shop to buy the ‘seconds.’

The CL storey has been written about in several books and in trade magazines. Where did it all begin? Like many successful companies, CL had a humble beginning as a manufacturer of field tiles, insulation units and various other products. After an amalgamation with neighbouring ventures, CL was born, along with its ‘made in New Zealand,’ logo. WW2 gave it a boost and the ‘protective era’ of the post war period added further impetus.

CL was innovative and its ‘specials department’ (possibly not the exact title) was responsible for thousands of examples that have now become very collectable. At one stage, CL was the largest producer of domestic wares in the Southern Hemisphere.

AS time has gone on, many Kiwis have a soft spot in their hearts for CL products. You can still see many examples, displayed proudly in china cabinets or shelves in thousands of homes. Furthermore, it is not hard to find CL still in use. Take me for example. I ridded myself of most of the imports (apart from English China of course) and now if I have a large gathering (and for everyday use) I serve my offerings on CL or Temuka (that, my friends is another wonderful story).

Now that I have started this quest to re-tell the CL storey, I hope I have piqued your interest and prodded your feelings of nostalgia.

LONG LIVE CROWN LYNN

The bad quality picture features some of the less common examples form the late 50’s and early 60’s.