Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Gerry Brownlee offers to resign.. Yeah right!

Gerry Brownlee offered his resignation to John Key today after he broke some rule at the airport. On its own, one wonders at the seriousness other than the sin of 'arrogance,' and a belief that rules are not made for such lofty politician as the perpetrator of the terrible misdeed. The conversation probably went something like this---on the phone: Gerry: 'So what's the spin Johnny boy.' (He snickers cynically) JK: ' We better come up with something mate---you know---grovel a bit---the electorate loves that--especially with you, big boy.' ( he laughs in that way we all LOVE!) 'You have to admit that it was a dumb arse thing to do though, so I better make some sort of admonition--is that the right word?' Gerry: Shit--I wasn't gonna wait around behind all that lot in the terminal---things to do, places to go eh.' JK: 'It'll be all over the news tonight so we better come up with some bullshit and I don't want you apologizing all the time, like you know who---(Laughing like a girl) Hell--with the polls treating us like kings--no one will remember a bloody thing in a day or two. David will have stuffed up again in the next day anyway.' Gerry: 'Yeah--you're right. How about I offer my resignation, eh? That always sound and looks good.' JK waits a few seconds before replying, thinking about how he can turn this little blip into something that makes him look like a magnanimous leader. Then--- JK: 'That's a damned good idea---throw yourself on the altar of sincerity. Always goes down well with those idiots.Yip---let's do that and make it public of course--maybe around mid day---take an hour or two and them I'll refuse to accept it.' Gerry: 'The talk back shows will be really funny. Must make a point of listening for a change. I need a good laugh.' He thinks for a while and then----'I will apologize for been an idiot---keep it low key, then the 'David guy' will say he's gettin' the piss taken out of him.' He can't continue for a few seconds because he is laughing so much he almost chokes. JK: 'Steady on boy---we don't want you dying on us---Christ--- the vultures in our own party will be circling--if they aren't already,' he adds with just a hint of something dark. Gerry laughs so hard he nearly wets himself before responding. Gerry: OK, that's how we'll don it. I'll talk to the Herald--they always give us good press,' he adds knowingly. JK: Jeeze, you're a bloody hoot man. I'll wait an hour or so then put out a rerelease that I refuse your resignation. Be ready for a bun fight later. Should be fun. Hell-- we don't have any policy at the moment, so this will do for a few days. Give me a ring tonight after it's played it course.' he hangs up, smiling but something deep inside him--moved---the worm! Watch out for the next 'snoop' on Gerry and John, courtesy of a rogue 'spy.' NO doubt KDC will feature in it! www.authorneilcoleman.com