Of course dogs smile, especialy when they are members of Greenpeace

I’m watching Perdy as she chomps through a meaty bone on the back lawn. It’s just about 3pm and she has one very full day.

Firstly, she woke me at 7am--- yes I slept in--- and I took her to Keith Hay Park down the road. It’s a great ‘wake-me-up’ morning walk and the three kilometres round walk is just right for me. Perdy jumped back in the car with that ‘what else we doping today Daddy?’ 

‘Well sweetie--- breakfast first—OK?’

Her tail wagged in anticipation--- yes she will do her best to steal whatever I have cooked. So home we went and on the way I told her about the planned visit to Omana Regional Park to visit the kids from school, who are camping there for the week.

I endured the usual barking that occurs as we glided down the long hill just after the Hillsborough Rd over bridge.

‘Shut up Perdy--- you’re gonna bloody deafen me at this rate, or should I say, make me deafer!’

Did it work---?  of course not. Once I had driven past the Onehunga Bay turn-off, she quietened down and observed the cars and busses we overtook. If we got too close to a truck, she shrank back into the back seat. She hates trucks---- good I say--- she will be safer that way. When I turned off at the Puhinui off-ramp, she really became curious. Her quizzical looks demanded an answer.

‘We’re going to see the kids at the beach Perdy--- I think you will like them and the beach is nice and clean--- but behave, because dogs aren’t allowed on the beach eh.’

As we drove through the road works on the big hill near Whitford, she began her whining again. I think she could smell the not too distant inlet. It was all new territory for her--- she had never been that far in the car, so I thought the least I could do was to put up with her excited expletives.

Just before we drove through the round-a-bout near Beachlands, I noticed she had gone really quiet, so I half expected to hear her throwing up--- but no--- she was transfixed on the horses, sheep and cows that were introducing themselves from a distance.

I turned off the main road and headed for the beach near the camp and when she saw the azure blue sea she must have thought she was in a doggie Mediterranean.  She does watch a lot of TV, so don’t go underestimating her.  I pulled up on a grassy area where Tony from school was watching the gear while the kids were way out to sea in the kayaks---well not too far. I don't want you getting the wrong idea.

I knew I shouldn’t let her off the lead (hell--- she wasn’t even supposed to be there at all---according to the signs) so she had to content herself with paddling with a ‘go-zone’ of 9 metres--- better than nothing. She was a little coy with Tony at first and then a little diffident with the kids as they beached their kayaks a few minutes later.

They made a great fuss of her and in between chasing the sticks I threw in the water; she made herself known to the kids. She’s such a show-girl—give her half a chance and she would be on stage--- that shyness is just a front.

After thirty minutes she looked as bit cold, even though the water was warm enough. I think the breeze had a chilling effect, especially when she was leash-bound and unable to run about like a maniac.

One thing was different this time--- I was in the water (even if only up to my thighs) and that was quite enlightening for her. She had this look on her face that said--- won’t you sink? Then she picked up a long stick and held it in her mouth. OMG--- thank God she’s a member of Green Peace. At least she wasn’t about to harpoon me.

A few minutes later we were making our way back to Hillsborough, and the day was hardly halfway through.

‘Now what, little girl--- more advebnturessssssssssssssssss?’

Cruising on the Kaipara Harbour---New Zealand's forgotten harbour

Saturday the 22^nd of January was a bit sad and also very happy. I missed the Tangaroa Foundation Reunion. I regret that, especially after viewing all the stuff on Facebook. I won’t miss the next one. It’s amazing how all the students from that time have kept in touch and hearing ABOUT ALL OF THE THINGS THEY ARE UP TO. Gosh--- some of them are grandparents now and they live everywhere.

I took my sister on a harbour cruise on the Kaipara Harbour--- wow what a buzz. I knew it was big, but barley being able to see the northern point from the boat while we were just off Shelly Beach tells you something. The cruise also meanders up one of the rivers—almost to Taupaki. To think how the early settlers (and of course the much longer history of exploration of the Maoris) used this vast array of waterways for transport and economic activity is really incredible. They did however turn the harbour from a pristine, clean domain into the silted up and often brown mess it is today. In spite of this, it still retains a charm and beauty in its backwaters that everyone should visit.

Take a trip on the quaint steamer  (http://www.kaiparacruises.co.nz/) and you will enjoy what I did today. The host and captain knows his stuff and his commentary is not intrusive. He even slows the boat every time he talks. Take your own food but even the instant coffee seemed to taste better--- must have been the sea air!

I have decided to take some of their other trips: the cruise from Westhaven to Riverhead sounds great. Not expensive either ($20 for the 3 plus hours trip I went on, $35 for the Riverhead one).  I want to try the 8 hour trip to Dargaville too soon. (I think you come back on the bus to Shelly beach.)

So, while I missed out on seeing all the folks from TC, I gained a wonderful new wish to cruise our wonderful harbours. I must check out some other options around NZ—any suggestions?

Is Youtube the answer?

I watched with a mixture of 'Yeah---go for it' and  'Mmmmm---is that what it will take?'
I am referring to the segment on Youtube of those ladies getting stuck into staff at Countdown in Rotorua. I don't know the background to the fracas outside the shop, but I guess I have to assume that the ladies had been helping themselves to some 'specials' that the rest of us usualy don't have access to.
Were ther trying to put 'food on the table'? or were they opportunistic thieves, meeting their comeupance from hard-working staff?
The shot went viral and will probably help police with 'their inquiries.'
Some may argue that the economy is against the ladies and they acted out of desperation, while others may say that most people, no matter how down and out, do not resort to ripping off shops and other services.
From my comfortable middle-class position, I have never known what it is like to have absolutely no fall-back in the form of a credit card or a relation  (usually Mum  and Dad). I have never had to say to kids that there is 'nothing in the cupboard.' Life is not a fairy tale where there are magic beans or a golden goose to hope for. The cold light of dawn that brings another day of struggle is foreign to most New Zealanders; most of us manage to get from one pay packet to the next.
Just remember, before you judge (and I have to put myself in this boat) that increasingly more people wake up with that dreaded scenario--- then it is over to the choices they make.
I would like to think that there are agencies out there who can help---- but they too are stretched.
There are many out there, who have little or no sympathy for those who act out their frustrations in the manner displayed in the Youtube segment; lets face it--- I regularly hear people close to me stating how they would like to 'deal to the low- life' who transgress resonable standards and that they should face the consequences of their actions.' I cringe at some of the comments.
So what are we going to do as a nation? The Youtube item is simply symbolic of the troubles that lay ahead for more of us as New Zealand is affected by the economic readjustment that is creeping ever closer to our shores. I guess we are going to have to wake up and find a Kiwi solution so that we do not have members of our society acting out in ways that are fed by their circumstances and by their inability or choice not to help themselves. We are going to see more on Youtube and various other media services that will underly what is happening  in society. I hope it does not divide us--- but brings us together.

Bossy Bitch

OMG--- it's 'take me for a walk---now!'
If I don't Prime Minister Perdy makes life hell for me and her resources are huge. Her lopsided glance is enough to melt my heart, but the threat of what she is truley capable of, is just below the surface.
The implication of some of those looks leaves little doubt in my mind that I should get off my butt and just 'do it.'
I have made an interesting discovery about Auckland and its parks. I am blessed to be living within a few minutes drive of quite a few. Take the beach just a kilometer away. It's the beach that features in the first story in Coastal Yarns. Instead of driving to the bottom beach, I park in the upper car park and there is an 'off leash' area that leads down to a secluded beach, that on a nice day may well be a 'swimming' beach for us both--- no prying eyes--- thats more for my benefit than Perdy's.
Then there is Kieth Hay Park. What a lovley park--- well over two kilometers of flat walking. Sure it's on the leash, but Perdy pretends that she's free- She get's these funny looks from people, who think they know her from 'somewhere.' Of course when it comes to toileting, she demands that I shield her from the Paparazi.
Today we found another gem. There is a beautiful park just off Hillsborough Road with a beautiful old mansion along with a huge undulating green expanse of lawn with huge tress. I sat with Perdy, after panting up the gentle hill and looked out over the Manukau Harbour. While I gathered my breath, Perdy sat there waiting patiently for me to recover, whilst she surveyed the view. I am sure she made a comment about 'all the people who had voted for her being down there.'
Tomorrow it's back to the lagoon and maybe a second walk in Cornwall Park/One Tree Hill. We shall both have to be on our best behaviour there eh.  That little blob in the centre of the picture is Perdy. The bigger blob is invisable because he was taking the picture!

Pam Corkery

I have been listening to Pam Corkery (hope that is the right spelling) over the last few days. What a blast from the past. The more I listen to her, the more I think that parliament lost something when she and Georgina Byers left.

Pam--- I wish you could read this. I suspect you left parliament because you saw though all the crap and couldn’t stand the total waste of time that it can represent. Democracy is cool but it has its drawbacks, like many of the traditions and procedures that go along with toeing the party line.

I think parliament needs people like you---people who are not afraid to tell it like it is. You don’t play the games that many other politicians (except- Perdy-lol. ) Maybe if you had colleagues, more like you, it would have been different. I like your humanity, your balance and your abhorrence of PC gone mad.

I don’t put you in the same category (and I’m not talking about Parties here) as Maggie Barry. You are something else, so get in touch with Georgina and other like-minded people and come back to us. The Alliance Perdy is gone (well they certainly had no traction at the last election), so I am not sure if the Labour Party could handle you--- maybe you belong in n Z First, but that would mean playing second fiddle to Winston---Mmmm--- not your thing.

If anyone reading this knows how to send this onto Pam--- please do it.  www.authorneilcoleman.com

I still have a limited number of both of my books. Contact me direct at  neilcolemanauthor@gmail.com

I am still not sure what is happening with mu publisher--- it seems like they have shut up shop for the holidays.

Dog food

Today I decided to make up my own dog food for Perdy. She gave  a new role in her Cabinet and given the way all the other humans have gone----to Australia mainly, I thought, what the hell. She said that she wanted to give up on the processed food and that she now wanted ‘natural food.’

So the afternoon consisted of trailing through the internet, looking at various ‘recipes.’ I began with a simple version, consisting of mince, garlic (loads of it), rice, potatoes and some frozen veggies—Watties of course. I cooked it all up in the pressure cooker and then added some ketchup at the end. Yes--- the recipe said to do that and I must admit, it did take it away from the bland taste. OK--- I ADMIT IT--- I TRIED IT--- THE SMELL WAS GREAT AND IT WAS ALL FRESH, SO WHY NOT.

I was silly enough to put it all up on Facebook so now I have people thinking that I’ve lost it! Maybe I should suggest that if anyone is reading my silly stories about Perdy and her ‘election win,’ then I’m in good company.

For the record, I will try out different recipes from as many sources as I can.

Perdy loved the end product, but then again--- she will eat almost anything.

Right I am off to deliver her seconds. She said she is doing an ‘all-nighter,’------something about preparing a speech for the upcoming Commonwealth Heads of Government meeting in Canberra. Maybe I better make up some freezer packs. Now, I better go and turn the light off--- she fell asleep on the sofa.

And I thought it wouyld be easy!

You know what--- this is a dog's life. Oh yes, it was wonderful winning on Saturday night, but now that I have had a few days to try and get a cabinet and move on some critical areas, like building new 'State Kennels and free bone kitchens for Jack Russels--- well I am only trying to show my mates that I care after all. Isn't that what happens everywhere? I know one things for sure--- everybody wants something. The cats from both parties  want well-marked cat crossings on all major roads and the chickens want to keep 50% of all the eggs they raise. Thats all I need-- an explosion of chickens running wild.
Then there's Neil and his mates. I knew it. It wasn't long before he had a line-up, all pressuring me for equal rights for humans. Come on guys-- we won---you lost. Don't you get it? I think you should just be content that we have allowed to you to run your silly human-orientated businesses, almost without constraints. Hey--- it was you who stuffed up the environment--- not us!
The move to Mt Roskill is working out better than I thought. We don't need as much as what you lot had in Wellington. Take for example, all the techno stuff you had. Thats out the window. It's back to basics. God it sounds so damned good litenning to all of that howling. Just think od all the momney we are saving. That can go for the Older Pets and Animals Care Centres.
JUst a note of cuation though. I am hearing rumblings of discontent from certain quaters. Be warned--- we are watching and our new Minister for internal secuturity has assembled quite a team!
I'm enjoying 'Roskill, Neil's latest book.