Confessions---or is it an observation from Super Hen (Part 9)

I have been observing a strange emergence of a new personality re---- HIM! I listen to HIS ramblings, which is not a difficult position to be in , as I have acute hearing  and HE has a tendency to 'let it all out!'  Here goes---I think HE has 'jumped the fence,' or to put it another way---'switched.' NO---I do not mean he has got himself a 'chick,' to put it in the more sexists terminology, but then again I am not constrained by the needs of the PC brigade, so I shall say it as it is. Cluck off if you are offended!

In HIS former life, before coming to the Coast, HE was surrounded by young people: HIS clients and his colleagues. HE was the oldest. In 'chookie' years, that would have meant---past the laying period, and of little use other than being a display of fraying feathers. I guess humans tend to hang aorund a bit longer but chookies do not always get the chance to retire and live the good life. I hope HE reads this and gets the message about our retirement needs!

The switch or transformation has occurred re who HE hangs out with. It's really quite remarkable; I mean, HE seems to have completely, well almost, because HE does see a few youngun's in his part- time work, but for the most part, HE is now surrounded by people who are all older than him. What does this mean for my life. That is the question as far as my sister and I are concerned. What gets me, is that HE seems happier. He talks about different issues and has slowed down a great deal,instead of running about like a headless---ooops I must never say that, but you get the drift---right?

I am not sure where this is all going. Maybe I shall see a few younger folk visiting over the Christmas period; you know---that time when we are clutching our feathers, in the hope that we do  not end up in the pot. HE is always making jokes with HIS neighbours about that particular issue---NOT FUNNY-----DUDE!

So I hope that the transition is a 'balanced' one, that settles into something that has the best of both worlds. From my point of view, it is called, being in a state of 'heavenly oneness with the world.' OK---roll on Christmas and stay true to the pathway. Look out for my 'Xmas special' in the next few weeks.
ONE MORE POINT:  Go and download HIS two books---'ROSKILL' and 'TALK TO ME.' Even I have read them and we had a clucking good time in the roost as I read to my sisters each night. Nothing like a good old read. You can access the books from HIS website. Just click on Neils Book and follow the links. Don't forget to tell your friends and to share this post. I am relying on that so that HE has the means to keep feeding us and not eating us!

www.authorneilcoleman.com

Earthquake in Thames---6.2 on the AFIB scale!

I had a beautiful day yesterday, culminating or should I say 'Colemanating' in a festive, fished-filled evening with a few glasses of excellent vino. The attempt at smoking the fish that the neighbour had sent over the fence (They were so fresh, they almost swam over!) turned out really deliciously moist and flavoursome. One glass turned into three---quite large ones. I suspect some of you know what's coming.

My brother returned to his home, which is just 1.5 KLS down the road and up the hill, from there he is able to observe the habitat of the fish we had just eaten. He also took a few home with him. I turned my attention to the Roskill (No---not my book) byelection where the Labour candidate totally creamed his opposition. I retired to my bed in a good mood.

About an hour later the 'feeling' became apparent. All was not well. I know it well and sure enough, the feeling grew into the AFIB relaity. Certain things happen to one's body, so I won't bore you with too much information! I just knew what was coming. About midnight the 'quake hit.' I had arisen to perform a biological function and and I felt dizzy. (What's new, you say!) Unfortunately, there is a book case in the hallway and it is a very tall and narrow one, not affixed to the wall!

I stumbled, crashing into the book case causing it to fall--- -- just ---OVER----but against the china cabinet pictured below. Inside that cabinet there are my precious hard-to-get Crown Lynn ceramics---quite a few thousand dollars worth. The noise was horrific and even in my addled AFIB state, I was acutely aware of years of collecting going down to the rubbish tip.

It really did feel like an earthquake; the noises of falling furniture and crashing ceramics, mixed with books. At that point, I knew I had to get  back into bed, until the attack was complete. Actually, the episode seemed to 'shock' my heart back into a more regular rhythm. Does that mean next time I have an episode, I just smash up a bit of furniture?  LOL

Rio came to the rescue, along with Perdy, who ensconced herself beside me in the bed, snuggling up close as if to contribute her little heart to my 'healing.' Bless her. In the meantime. Rio started reconstructing the damage, ascertaining the level of carnage. NOTHING broke in the book case (there were some prize ornaments in it) Everything was just scattered. He informed me that only one  piece (A Crown Lynn gravy bowl) lost its handle.

The news set me at ease and I was soon back to normal. That is the nature of an AFIB episode. I am surprised that the neighbours did not hear the crash, because it was momentous, but on reflection, part of the episode entailed a few weird symptoms, one of which is an accentuated hearing. Everything seemed louder.

The learning (again!) from this?  A glass of wine must be a standard drink---not one of the behemoths from the past. Furniture should be attached to a wall if it is likely to fall in an earthquake, be it from 'natural causes, or by ME!

Pox on you! Well it happened! Is it your fault Super Hen?

I suspect that little opening will have the desired effect---lots of hits.
'Hardly a Christmassy statement,' you say.
I reply, 'well it ain't Xmas yet, even though the shops are playing those bloody awful commercialized versions of what goes for carols these day!'
Now give me some leeway here and I shall reply and make a little more sense of my opening gambit.

The last few months have been a bit 'off' for me. I have had a nagging eye issue that just would not go away. There was slight redness and a feeling of discomfort. I put it down to a permanent condition I have re the lower lids, that I can't spell so I won't bother you with the details, other than to say that it is managed by using weak soapy water solution in the morning and night to keep it at bay. There is NO medication for it.

So, to make a short story longer, let's say that I kept ignoring with what I was being presented. Then---it all  became too much, so I took a trip to my new doctor and told him what I suspected it was---a recurrence of a condition that is caused by  my youth---MY way past youth back on the farm? Yes---I had the POX---Chicken Pox, along with most kids at that time, and probably something that is still happening today.

Now---feel free to correct me with quasi-truths and bullshit, chucking in a few jelly beans for those who remember. If one had CP as a kid, the 'whatevers' then hide in the nerve thingies and remain there, coming out in the form of 'cold sores and possibly Shingles at a later time in one's life. OK---the medicos amongst you can refine my observation. Do so gently, my friends or  wall blast you with profanities,  straight from Super Hen's butt, given the way I still feel.

About 4 times in the past 40 plus years I have been visited by  the condition that afflicts me today, and it ain't pretty. The eye looks and feels terrible, vision can be affected (to the point that I was once admitted to the eye ward in Greenlane.) It must have been difficult for doctors in the 'way back' to define and make a good diagnosis, because often I was treated with antibiotics which are as about as usless as ttits on a bull, when it comes to viral infections. Eventually they got it right and I became quite good at telling the difference in the feeling---between  Conjunctivitis and the 'virus,'---Herpes Sinplex, I think it is called (OK---correct me again---I am happy with that)

I am of an age, whereby one does not easily 'tell' a doctor what is wrong, but I bloody well did this time, both my lovely new one (who listened and got me into the Eye Clinic, pronto at Hamilton Hospital (that bloody great  behemoth that feels like a big town!  Next time I am getting a fast wheel chair to get around)) and the eye doctor at the hospital.

I suggested to him what I felt was wrong and that he would be giving me whatever passes for Zovirax, these days and he quite quickly came to the same conclusion. He pissed me off a bit. It was at the end of a four hour wait and I was the last patient. (Jeeze, it pisses me off when heaps of people arrived well after me but saw him first!) He kept shoving my head onto the chin thing that holds your face up or whatever, not making  the adjustments for the fact that I was a good deal shorter than the last patient. Oh well---WTF, I thought---at least I was being seen to and I had been HEARD.

I left the hospital with Rio and we collected the 'ointment' from an 'after hours' pharmacy in Hamilton (no such establishment in Thames) and we were soon on our way, past the burnt our car, we saw aflame on the way to Hamilton and back to our lovely Thames. I couldn't wait to stick my eyeful of ointment in and get some sleep. It was not a nice sleep---interrupted by the virus, launching a  night attack. I just knew that if I had left it until Monday---there would have been a different ending to this little ditty. The moral of this---DO NOT WAIT when it comes to your eyes. ASK the questions about 'viral versus bacterial,' infections. They can look similar but have very different results.

It's going to be a quiet weekend  me thinks as I get on top of this. Thanks for all the lovely messages.
Catch ya later.

Local authors at 'The Kitchen' in Thames.

   Thames has many fine cafes and a main street that speaks of 'yesteryear' and caters for the needs of 'today.' One example of a great little cafe, is The Kitchen, owned and operated by Rex and his helpers. Not only will you enjoy the fine food and excellent coffee, along with the friendly service (Rex always makes time to chat with his loyal customers) you will also be able to purchase books by Neil, who has recently moved to Thames. Rex has also been a major part of a project for a childrens book.

   Pictured outside the cafe, are Neil and Rex---with their books and of course---Perdy, who is having a break. She likes going to The Kitchen, because she always receives a  genuine welcome along with a bowl of cool, clean water.

   What more do you need:  Good food, coffee and a chance to watch the world go by as you peruse the two books on offer. See you all there sometime. Please share this post.  www.authorneilcoleman.com

Can someone explain this?!

Israel	2167
United States	72
New Zealand	37
Germany	11
China

Please look at the above list---it portrays the number of hit in my blog today, This happen a fait bit from Israel. I feel my blog is being used for nefarious reasons. Normally, the figures for a day are more like the numbers for The US, NZ etc.

Google never get back to me with an explanation. I wonder what is happening. I wish it would mean selling my books, re the downloads form my website,---but that is just a WISH---sadly.

   Cheers.

Confessions of Super Hen---Part 8

I think I am in Deep doggie poo! It seems that my attention seeking behaviours (yes---they have been described in detail in past blogs!) have caused a few issues. As you know, I tend to hog the limelight compared to my sisters. I lay the biggest eggs, I cause the most fuss, I escape the most, I organise rebellions and party way too late into the night---that is from HIS perspective.

I also like to give HIM the odd reminder as to who is the boss around here. I strut around like a rooster---to the point that I have heard HIM discussing with his guests, my sexual identity---something about me having big---you know the rest! I have to admit that when I escape, HE is quite gentle with me. I pretend to submit and HE picks me up and releases me back into the enclosure.

About 3 weeks ago, I noted that HE was feeding us at night, a little bit after the time that we prefer----like hey---7pm is too late! I talked with the girls and we came up with a plan. HE needed a reminder that we were most displeased. I was to give HIM a reminder---a gentle little peck as HE bent down to change the water and fill the chookatarium. (Don't go on---that's HIS dumb-arsed name for what I call an 'Auto-feeding device!)

OK---HE did bend down and I delivered a fast hit---right by HIS eye. HE yelled and the language was nothing short of---deplorable! I am sure the neighbours heard. Anyway---I am sure HE got the message, but it may have backfired. I just heard HIM on the phone. (Yes, I have excellent hearing---unlike HIM!) HIS eye has not been the same since. I think HE has to go to the Eye Clinic for humans in Hamilton. The nurse creature, is making plans for HIM to see the doctor first---then on to the Glaucoma clinic, whatever the hell that is. Did I cause that? HE will  get it all seen to next week. I must admit, HE doesn't seem to be blaming me for his 'condition.' Better not, or there will be 'clucksequences! Oh well---apart from the sore eye---things are pretty good. I think I may be in the bad books for another reason soon. During my escapes, I have been eating beautiful salads, but HE is blaming me for pulling out HIS veggie plants. Watch this space---things are hotting up around here!

I'm not confessing to anything--Super Hen Part 7!

I believe that HE is trying to make a subtle point. Yeah right. Subtle is not in HIS vocabulary! I mean--announcing to the world that HE is cooking chicken, one that is 1.8 on the 'Chicken Licking Cooking Scale!' Come on---that's just a claw beyond the black stump too close for comfort.

I heard HIM as HE sang HIS little ditty as he collected some tropical guavas, parsley, thyme and some mint. (Yeah, there's gotta be a song in there somewhere!) HE was going on about adding a bit of salt and pepper, along with a few cloves of garlic and---HE's gonna slow roast the chicken. What were all those pointed looks a out dude?

Something tells me that my escapades are becoming a tad too much. I need to inform HIM that they are 'necessary,' in order to keep the creativity re my egg-laying capacity! I need inspiration, hence my wanderings and little games. They are the stimulus and hey---I have to keep an eye or two on my sisters! They need constant cajoling and praise. Hell---one of them is even ;laying the occasional double yoker, so I must be doing something right.

OK---, calm down time. HE has visitors today and I am going to arrange a little floor show---you know---a 'make ya feel good,' kinda production. Just when his guests are drinking their wine in the garden, sitting on those lovely chairs that I have not (as het!) crapped on, we will cluck in that endearing fashion that people so love, and pop over the fence. That is when HE thinks HE has us under a spell----HE will call us and we in turn run across to HIM where upon we sit. HE picks us up and places us in the enclosure. HE falls for it every time. It makes HIM feel powerful. I bet HE informs HIS guests about HIS 'skills' as a Hen Whisperer!

Jeeze---what a girl won't do to keep the peace!