Wednesday, November 16, 2016

Confessions of Super Hen---Part 6.

Yes, I know---I have been silent for a few days. I have been contemplating my life, down here on the Coast. I have been adjusting to the very changing cycle of life; the weather, the garden as it evolves, as HE keeps planting stuff and to my sisters, who now challenge my egg laying capacity.

I have an issue with HIM. HE has sort of worked put how we escape from time to time. Wow---HE put a great deal of faith in the capacity of the fence to keep us in. He believed that we were escaping underneath the fence and then going on to explore the garden, eating those pesky snails and yes, the occasional  salad type veggie. Hell, we even unearthed a few worms, but that meant catering the odd newly planted plants. Hey---come on---we can't help doing what comes naturally to us. We get in the 'zone' and just DO IT!

Back to that fence. Did HE really think that we could not launch ourselves over a silly little construction like that? HE really was ripped off buying that thing online. I hear that is a particular 'theme' in HIS life. Like, hey dude---our wings do GROW after the initial clipping and one of your friends was correct---we just climb up to the top of the launch pad---oops, I mean cage, and we do what history---human history, has  or should have taught YOU! We take off! Basic Physics and rocket science 101, ,mate! HIS stupidity almost rivals that of those poor followers of a certain Bishop, I see on the news (Yes I watch TV at night through the windows---do not tell HIM!) I do not usually swear, unlike HIM, but---humans are so fecking dumb!

OK---I have established in my immutable style, the fact that we go walk about, or to be more precise---fly about. HE should not worry; we are not going to go far and we know where all the dogs are. The cats seem to leave us alone, having witnessed the 'murder of the sparrow the other week. Even HE is a bit more careful when HE enters our enclosure. Take the other day, for example. HE was a little tardy, replacing our water and as HE placed the bowl on the ground, I gave HIM a bit of a hurry up. Unfortunately, I nearly hit his eye. HE yelped like a puppy and quickly withdrew. I better not do that again, because I heard HIM complaining to the other human, the one who hardly ever comes out. He is totally freaked by us; something from his childhood, I guess,

Given the above issues, I have decided on a bit of professional development for myself and my sisters. It is around the field of 'Dealing with humans in a non-violent manner---involving the three stages: identifying strategies, intervention and surviving the trauma. There---that should bring a bout a more peaceful and yes---a haven of understanding. I shall let you kn ow how HE is coping.

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