Come on Daddy---where are you? It’s way past walkies time. You are supposed to be here by now and take me down to the bay. What’s keeping you? I bet you are at one of those staff meetings you go to. Well, that’s not good enough. I’ve been looking after the house all day. Hell, I bark at anything that moves, even the lady who doesn’t like me barking---I do it extra loud and crazy for her. Her face goes red when she tells me to shut the f------I’m not saying that word, because it’s for low-dogs, not pedigrees like me.
I’ve been checking out the neighbours’ visitors and welcoming the metre reader. Heheheheheh--- He is so scared of me. What’s he think I’m gonna do--- lick him to death? I have to keep busy; otherwise all I can do is sleep.
That’s why I love my time at the bay. I meet with Finn and Patch. Patch is a crazy bitch. She sees me and goes wacko---she sometimes runs from way around the bay, just to say hi to me. Then she tries to beat me up. She is way huger than me, but I’m not scared of her. Some of the other dog walkers think that we are having a war, but really--- we are just two crazy sods dogs having fun. I jump at her and grab her ears and then run under her and trip her up.
It’s all on if Finn is there too. We run, jump, scare the pants off some of the walkers by just missing them (sometimes we even hit them) as we run like the lightening. Once I ran under Daddy’s legs but that silly Patch tried that too and wouldn’t you know it--- she couldn’t fit and Daddy went head over arse. He was very sore for weeks and had to have physio.
So get home soon Daddy, or I shall do that----‘I’m not getting in the car thing,’ you hate so much. It’s so funny watching you trying not to let me know you are pissed at me. Even those little biscuits don’t work. Bottom line Daddy--- You may think you are the boss, but that’s purely an illusion! I come when I’m ready. Mmmm--- I hope you have chicken carcasses for dinner for me.