Here we go again--- FAT BUGGER---Part 1

I went to see my doctor today for my usual three monthly check-up. When you hit a certain age and carry weight like you are collecting for Oxfam (Oooh--- bad analogy!)   you have to have these appointments. At one stage I used to joke with the doctor about making retirement age. He thinks he can manage that as long as I continue my ‘stringent’ management programme. (He assures me that he doesn’t read blogs, so I am safe from his wrath, unless one of you buggers tells him.

I’m a big bloke----OK?! Those of you who knew me when I attended Teachers training College in Epsom way back in the late 60’s and early 70’s would know my nickname was ‘TWIGGY.’ Bloody hell, I was SKINNY. I only weighed about 65KGS and almost had abs. Go on--- beg me to put up a picture. I won’t unless I get at least ten comments. I didn’t get ‘fat’ until I hit the big five O.  After that magic age, gravity and kilos combined to change my profile.

I tried heaps of diets—you name it I either considered it or tried it.  Did they achieve their verbose claims? Yes they did, for a while that is. I achieved amazing results. I threw away my ‘big’ clothes (Hell--- they would be my skinny ones now!) and bathed in the glorious comments form friends and family. ‘OH--- you look great, Neil. How did you do it?’

For every attempt, I lasted at most about six months, before something took over to subvert my regime. I can’t quite put my finger on it. If I could, maybe I would be rich and have millions of followers. I can just see it----

            COME AND HEAR ‘GURU’ NEIL TALK ABOUT HIS BATTLE WITH THE BULGE---A TRULY REMARKABLE, INSPIRING STORY.

ENTRY, ONLY $50. GET IN FAST--- LIMITED SPACES.

Yeah right—dream on boyo. It did not work out that way.

It wasn’t too far into my 50’s that I received the news that Mr Type Two Diabetes was my new companion. ‘Ah,’ you say. ‘Now you’ll get your shit together.’ You reckon? I suppose I did for a while. I knew from experience that GYMs DON’T WORK FOR ME. Oh well there was always another diet or mantra. You know the ones, ranging from the “F” Plan to more scientifically based Low GI diets or ‘Lifestyles.’ But once again--- the missing link, the “X” factor. I hadn’t found it.

Of course I was never alone ion these desperate endeavours. There was always a friend, who wanted to walk alongside me and most of them ended up on the Yo Yo treadmill. Sometimes it was fun. I remember going to Weight Watchers’ weigh ins, jumping on the scales (Of course, only after a visit to the toilet) and then feeling really good when I lost weight. What did I (we) do then? We went to a café for breakfast of course!

I can just hear some of the less than complimentary comments. ‘You lack willpower,’ or ‘you cheat.’ (No--- I just ate too much). The result was always the same. I fell of the wagon. Therein lays a clue to my demise—something akin to what an alcoholic feels. What am I really saying--- that food is an addiction? Well it bloody well is--- to a degree. Yes I hear that---‘there is no bad food--- just the way we eat it.’ Or---‘too much of a good thing.’ Maybe Granma knew best---- portion size---- Another cliché? Yes and no.

Sometimes friends have said---‘You could write a book about weight loss. Nah---- but I will write some more blogs about what I am doing now---- that I have been refused lone of those State Funded operations---- I’M TOO OLD!’ THEY SAID, and I’m not about to spend $17,000 to $20,000. Besides--- I will make yet another attempt, but I have been well-informed that it is nigh on impossible to loose weight by diet and lifestyle alone, and NOT put it back on again, once you hit 40.

Good--- I hope many of you disagree and try to tell me I am wrong wrong wrong. Cool---if that stimulates some of you to get off your f----- oops--- you get the picture.

Catch ya later, after I’ve slept on my ‘self-given’ challenge.

DIJATC part 3--- settling for less?

It may be one year or four, but the day is coming when you won’t get that nice automatic deposit in your bank account. It is going to be replaced by this fractional pittance. Imagine receiving less than a third of what you are used too and in some cases the situation is much worse.

All of a sudden, those bills, including rates, insurance, medical insurance, Sky TV, water, power, telephone, computer; not to mention everyday necessities like----- yes food. Whereas once the budget almost balanced, now it is going to become a nightmare. Something has to give.

As I said before, there are those amongst you who have made plans, so you can stop reading and just go and have a gin or a coffee and watch Coronation Street. Good on ya!

So what are the rest of us going to do? Perhaps we will start by making a list of all of our outgoings. Don’t forget to have a ‘contingency’ category--- you k now one for those little (or big bills) that seem to arrive a regular intervals--- ones that we didn’t bargain for. We have all heard stories about single income families and those on minimum wages. Well--- all of a sudden, we have joined the club.

Firstly, goodbye Sky and the computer contract--- it’s all ‘prepay from now on or ‘Freeview. It’s a pity that the Government is axing some of the channels, or they become harder to get (like Stratos). Forget about medical insurance--- it was becoming more expensive each year anyway.

Leaving lights on, using the dryer and sitting in front of the heat pump (on hot days) will need to be revisited. But cut as you will--- it won’t be enough, so what else can go. I’m beginning to feel like one of those passengers on sailing ships in old black and white movies who had to jettison anything not tied down, in order to get away from pirates.

What can we do to lighten the food bill? OK--- if you have any land at all--- how about growing some veggies and fruit. Isn’t that what our grandparents did on their quarter acre sections? I have fond memories of the garden my dad had along with lots of fruit trees. And MUM--- well she bottled, pickled, made jam and used the freezer (much bigger than the pathetic little box passing for a fridge/freezer in my place).

Holidays----- yeah maybe, if you have somewhere cheap or free to stay and can still drive and maintain your car. Gold Card, if it’s still with us will be fine for those of us lucky enough to live in a city with reasonable public transport.

Don’t let my words get you down. That’s the last thing I am trying to do. If there is time--- like more than a few years, shove away everything you can, either with Kiwi Saver or Bonus Bonds. I have been amazed at how quickly they accumulate. Just forget they are there and perhaps you will hit the ‘day’ and see a little nest egg awaiting your inspection.

I think the key is to start now. Trim the Sky, go to a cheaper plan for your internet, plant your veggies and shop cooperatively. There are heaps of websites out there offering advice. Just Google ‘getting by when I am retired,’ or play around with those words. If our grandparents could make do with less, by being creative, then we too can meet the challenge. Start a ‘forum’ here and lets see what comes up. I’m sure there are lots of ideas about getting by with less, so DIJATC doesn’t have to scare the pants off us. We’re Kiwis and Kiwis can! (Sorry Barack--- Mr President--- Sir).

For all of you DIJATCs (Part 2)

If you want to know what DIJATC means, go back to my blog that preceded this. ‘Bugger!’ you may say--- but come on, I need to get my hit rate up. I was talking to family and friends yesterday and I told them that once my blogs reach 2000 hits I (and that’s not so far away) we shall have a really nice dinner with expensive wine. I reckon a $40 plus bottle of New Zealand Pinot Noir will do the trick. For my lovely USA friends (who made blog history for me yesterday by outnumbering my Kiwi hits for the day). Mmmm--- that will be a subject of a whole new thread in future blogs.

Right, back to the reason for this blog. Like many others in the ‘Baby Boomer’ generation, retirement is just around the corner. Of course, I won’t be stopping work. My observations have led me to believe that ‘Counsellors’ (NZ spelling) have quite a long shelf-life, if they look after themselves. Hopefully, I will belong to that lucky group. Time will tell.

Either way, I will assume that it is best to ‘prepare now.’ I do not have a massive inheritance and I have not been a canny Scottish person, re my savings. True, I have made a few allowances, but it wouldn’t take more than a glance at my financial preparedness to see what camp I am in. Like many of ‘cohort, I need to get real. So here’s my plan. Laugh, cry, chuck in a bit of condescension and be judgmental if you wish, or surprise yourself by the admission, that you too face such a dilemma.

Lets pretend that we have about three years to retirement and that we only have very modest (or no) savings. SCARRY EH! But for many of the generation behind us, the situation is even worse, if they haven’t taken up the ‘Kiwi Saver,’ option. (God only knows what it’s like for you folks in the USA who haven’t made plans).

Are you ready to take stock? Look at your current spending habits. How much are you really spending on café outings or wine and gourmet food. It’s fine now, while you are still earning. Oops, I’m sounding like I have switched from focussing on myself and putting it all back on you. Well, if I do that, just assume that I am also talking about ‘me.’ Maybe all of those twats that ring me up (usually at dinner time, trying to sell me stuff--- bloody useless stuff, will realize that they are wasting their time). I doubt it, somehow. I bet there are many areas of our spending genre that far exceed our ‘needs.’ We have made our ‘wants’ transition into the absolute minimal ‘needs’ in order to sustain our very existence. I guess it has been a gradual process.

The simple fact is, that we will not be able to sustain this way of living. I think that this realization is going to be my new mantra. (Actually, I have never had one!). Where do I (we) start? The days of ‘Go West  young man,’ don’t ring true anymore. For you in the USA, the west no longer holds the same promise and for us in NZ, well Australia may well be facing the same dilemma.

What I am going to say is not new or revolutionary, it is just a simple stamen of the obvious---we are going to have to settle for less. SO------DIJATC really is a call to action. Hehehhe--- next blog--- let me get my thoughts together and have a few more ‘Flat Whites.’  It’s OK--- for those who don’t know, Aussies and Kiwis know that it is not some sort of racist term--- it is the coffee style we both love as countries and no proud Aussie or Kiwi would be without it.

For all of you---DIJATCs

Just in case you are wondering what DIJATC means--- well--- here goes--- “Damn, it’s just around the corner.’

I am of course referring to all of you ‘Damn, it’s just around the corner’ people. I’m one if you count three and a half years as being close to retirement. So, I’m giving away my age. Who cares--- I’m long past any of those feelings that giving away personal details, somehow makes one more vulnerable. The only vulnerability that goes with aging is the extended list of prescription drugs. Anyway--- haven’t you heard the latest research about aging? Yes, we may have more aches and pains, but apparently at 65. Our vocabulary is at its best. Ain’t that just creamy!

Just think of all the bullshit we can espouse, under the actual guise of possibly knowing a thing or two. So, bare with, bear with. As Miranda’s Mum says. If you don’t know who Miranda is, then stop reading now—OK?

Right--- I’ve got your attention and lost those who wouldn’t have a clue. For the elitist survivors, now lets put my proposition. If you are a DIJATC, you have more than likely pondered your near future; one without the number of noughts on the end of your weekly earnings. Actually they may well be in the form of a pension or ‘superannuation, plus a few extras if you are lucky. I think I belong to the last of the ‘lucky generation.’ Soon the generous largess with which the State bequeaths us in our final years will be diminishing in an alarming manner. Imagine retiring at 68 or even older and not being able to collect what you have paid for all of your working (or non-working) life. Never mind worrying about whether the ‘Gold Card’ will still be available; that’s the least of your worries.

The fact is that if you haven’t made allowances for the impending income implosion, then you (we) are in deep doggie poo). It is so easy to forget about that way out and beyond time when one has to adjust to a more stringent financial swamp. Yip--- it will be ‘sink or swim’ in the unknown sludge of that future.

So what can my lot do as we ponder the inevitable? I guess we are divided into several groups. There are the ones, through hard work, luck, inheritance, Scottish-like canny savings and I hate to say it, less than honest dealings in the darker side of life and possibly variations of all of the above. Then there are those who haven’t given a thought to their twilight years and have just got on with life, having fun and taking every opportunity to buy the latest gadget to take the ‘special deals’ on an overseas holiday, fully knowing that they were stretching their ability to actually pay for those ‘needs.’

I don’t want to give too much away about myself, other than to say that I feel like I can relate to bits of all of the above scenarios. I cannot get away from that DIJATC feeling though, so having laid the foundation for a very important discussion forum, I invite you to comment on my musings--- Hehehe--- but you will have to wait until my next blog. Don’t you hate it, when I do that?

Patience my friends

Thanks for being so patient with me. I am working on getting a new website and finalizing my relationship with my publisher. It has been a steep learning curve and one that I wish I did not have to take. Buit I don't have an agent (yet) to do all this for me. The only writing I am doing at the moment is my blogs.
Thanks God, I have a good day job eh.
Use me email adress if you wish to contact me direct, either for books or to communicate.
  Cheers
 Neil

Silly twit!

Sometimes I surprise myself with my mechanical knowledge. Sometimes it costs me money and at others, it just makes me laugh.

After a short day at work yesterday, I arrived at home to a panting, desperate and wound-up dog. Perdy has had my attention for most of the holidays and now that I am back at work--- well--- it’s like letting her wind up her doggie-springs and then she has to let loose.

Off we went down to her favourite bay--- the Onehunga lagoon, by the motorway. She squeals and implores me to drive faster and if part of me is attainable through the gap between the front seats, she will even attempt to nip me, just to say who is in charge.

By the time I pull into the carpark she is well on her way. She stretches at the lead, making it difficult to release her, then she’s off, tail flying horizontally behind her. She stops suddenly to see if I have got myself organized. It’s always the same. She expects me to get the thrower and have the ball in the air, arching its way towards the water (if the tide is in).

For the next ten minutes we play the crazy throw chase and return game; sometimes she gets mislead in other directions and then loses the ball, but generally she is pretty good.

The next stage for her is when one of her many ‘friends’ appears. In this case it was her mate, Patch, a Boxer, come God-knows what. They really like one another. I am sure that anyone watching who isn’t familiar with the two dogs would think that all hell had broken loose. Patch up-ends Perdy and roughs her up. She never hurts Perdy, but for the next twenty minutes, as we make our way around the park, Perdy gets Patch back. She nips Patche’s hind legs, attaches herself to Patche’s ears and generally attacks from underneath. I have rarely seen either of them cause any pain. They just love one another’s company.

Of course the water is an attraction. They get so hot, that they really need to jump in and cool down. I throw the ball and off they go. It does get annoying when they get side-tracked by someone else throwing a ball, forgetting their own. I have lost an expensive one, when it went out under the motorway, out to sea on the outgoing tide. Thankfully, neither dog followed it.

Before I realize, the time has gone--- we have been there over an hour. I can catch Perdy much more easily now. She actually comes and lets me put the leash on--- mostly.

On the way home, I noticed a beating sound coming from the rear wheel. ‘Damn---a bloody puncture.’

Now I know what I did was crazy. I thought----‘stuff this--- there is a garage just along Hillsborough Road and the car seems to be driving OK--- It’s not wandering like I would expect with a flatty.’

So I continued up the hill and along to the garage. I jumped out, ---- but hey---- no flatty. What the hell was going on? Was it something more sinister---? ----from the wallet’s point of view. Then I noticed the back window.

Perdy in her exuberance to get some fresh air has learnt how to open the back window. Don’t worry--- she’s tied in. I remembered she had done that before and my car is particularly bad when the back window is down and the car is travelling over 80 KPH. The beating sound was the result of that pressure thingy that results from the downed windows.

Thank God I didn’t ask the guys at the garage. I am sure they would have laughed. I too can laugh at myself.

BASQUE KITCHEN BAR and VEVO foodstore

In the last week I have had the pleasure to visit two eateries, the BASQUE KITCHEN BAR and the VEVO foodstore.

I stumbled onto them both; neither was an ‘intended’ destination. I would like to make a few comments.

Firstly the BASQUE KITCHEN BAR. We visited this establishment last week around lunchtime. It can be found tucked away in Davis Street, Newmarket. Our plan had been to find one of the cafes, fronting the park in the main street.

Auckland’s summer was playing hide and seek, so with the drizzle doing its best to morph into rain, we gave up on the cafes nearer the main street when we noticed the old refurbished building housing the BASQUE KITCHEN BAR. 

We studied the menu out front and were immediately welcomed by the friendly bar-lady. It didn’t take much to draw us in, especially when we noticed that it was a ‘tapas’ bar. Both us were curious about this Spanish offering and we wanted a light lunch.

After been seated near the entrance, where we were well away from the driving drizzle, but still part of the ‘street scene,’ the bar-lady offered us the menus and the beverage list. Being Spanish, of course the wines and beers were predominantly the same, ordered a Spanish bubbly by the glass. Our host pointed out that they couldn’t call it Champaign. (We are all well versed in the reasons for that—aren’t we?) By the glass was fine for us.

I decided on some croquettes for a starter (Tapa) and fresh Spanish Sardines for the next course (this was slightly bigger than the Tapa, but smaller than a traditional main. My dining companion (my sister on this occasion) chose cauliflower, sautéed or deep fried I (not sure) with various spices, one of which was saffron, for her tapa. For the next delight she ordered little lamb chops, minus the sauce (the lady knew her stuff--- my sister can’t have anything with gluten).

While we waited for our food, we sampled the Cava bubbly. It is a little like some of the better-end Lindau range--- light, yet nicer and fruity.  It wasn’t long before the first of the little Tapas arrived.

My croquettes were exactly as the friendly lady had said---‘really delicious.’ I made the smart-assed comment that ‘the chef would have to kill me if he told me how he had cooked them.’  Oh no--- ‘he will be happy to tell you what’s in them if you want,’ our new friend replied.

My sister’s cauliflower dish was superb. I am going to try to replicate it myself. I managed to steal a piece off her plate while she was engaged in draining her glass of bubbly. (We only had one glass--- neither of us wanted that ‘wanna go to sleep feeling,’ after imbibing in alcohol at mid-day).

The lamb chops came along with my sardines. My sister wasn’t too keen to try my dish, and she wasn’t about to share her chops with me. No wonder--- they were just right—pink in the middle and beautifully cooked--- I’m sure the waiter/bar lady said something about cherry vinegar, amongst the ingredients. They were succulent and tasty.

My sardines lived up to my expectations. I had always imagined the grilled morsels, but had only ever tried the pilchard-type fish that had been passed off as ‘sardines’ at other establishments.  I had three of them on my plate. They were easy to eat--- just scrape the flesh off the tiny bones and enjoy.

The friendly, knowledgeable service and the ambiance of the place on a horrible day was just what we needed to shift our moods from the stolen summer. We weren’t stuffed to the point of feeling guilty and our wallets did not protest. I think $30 each, for two courses (small was just right) was fine. It is not a food hall, so we had expected to pay more. One thing’s for sure--- we will be back for an evening meal.

Now for the second place. You might be thinking we eat out more than most. Not really---it was the penultimate day for our holidays, so we wanted to enjoy it. Once again, we had no idea where we were goin g to have breakfast. We had left the naughty Jack Russell at home (although on reflection, she would have been fine).

We drove out west, knowing that along the way, we would come across many cafes.  Before we knew it, we were driving through the Titirangi Village, the ‘flash’ part of Westy town.  An empty car park almost jumped out at me, so the decision was made. Almost immediately, we noticed a café at the end of a parking area. It had the added advantage of being a ‘food store’ as well.

The VEVO foodstore was busy (always a good sign) and we were made welcome by the enthusiastic, smiling staff. We could choose from the usual ‘all day’ breakfast type food or order from the counter food. There was plenty of fresh-looking food on offer. I ordered our coffee. I had the ‘big breakfast, while my gluten-free sister had the bacon, eggs with gluten-free bread.

The coffee was good enough for me to ask what beans they used. The barista said he used –Supreme beans,’ but was considering another option that were as good or better. If they are better, then they will be really good, because the coffee was way better than many I have had--- and I love my coffee.

The food arrived, about ten minutes later. The wait was fine--- the result was great. They did not make a fuss of the eggs, by advertising ‘organic, free-range, but I suspect that they were both. My big breakfast wasn’t over –the-top. Honestly, some big breakfasts would have my doctor pointing out the ‘awaiting grave.’ There was one piece of well-cooked quality bacon, hash browns that were obviously not out of a packet, and delightfully herbed. The sausage was not one of those overly-salted varieties and the mushrooms were magical.

Both of us were happy to pay the price. I would rather pay slightly more, any day then have a cheaper less than satisfactory serving. We both agreed that the VEVO is good value and good quality. There was surprise at the end.

When I came out of the spotlessly clean toilets, I noticed a table at the back. Wow--- if I had seen that before I ordered, we would have sat there. It has a fabulous view over the Manukau Harbour, framed by lovely native trees that belie the fact that the VEVO is in the middle of the Titirangi Village.

Well done, both establishments.