Kindle 'downloads in China?

I know that my blogs are read in China but I am unsure if they can download the two books I have on Kindle. To my Chinese readers------ please let me know if you can download  'Roskill' and 'Talk To Me.' Go to my website and click on Neil's Books and follow the link. Please share my site with your friends.
www.authorneilcoleman.com

Confessions of 'Super-Hen,' (Part 4)

Sometimes I really do get the last laugh re setting HIM up. Life has been very settled around our patch lately, with 3 and a half of us laying (The last girl to join the production line, is a bit hesitant) and for the most part, we stay in our enclosure. HE of course was rather busy, with his friend and that huge monster, hairy dog. OMG---it was ten times bigger than the little teaser HE calls Perdy! It did tend to keep the latter in a better frame of mind though.

OK----life can get boring if things are so settled, that 'predictability' is the name of the game. Oh no----HE needed a 'reminder! I called a 'High Council of the Feathered.' We made a plan---well that is, the girls agreed to my instructions. That's how it works in my neck of the garden. Here's how it played out.

As per usual, HE emerged at a 'way past decent hour,' which in HIS terminology is about 6.55. HE has taken to letting us roam at will around our enclosure, because HE believes that his hairy baby has frightened away all the Thames rats---yeah right! I saw one the other day that would have fed us for a week, had we caught it!  The 'plan' was that I was going to give HIM a little reminder that 'There is no fence that can keep Me in!' You know the rest of the song---well maybe not, because I being multi-talented, wrote it! Right, to cut a long story short---yeah I know---you hate that saying, I went 'wandering,'---on the other side of his garden---in the neighbours driveway---to be precise. Now---don't go worrying---I know  the cats and there are no 'Perdy-like' creatures in that area.----

HE espied me, strutting my stuff, while my sisters looked on, with much clucking and prancing. HE emerged in quite a state, calling for assistance and in a right panic! Oops---I sort of said that twice, but it was so funny, I guess a bit of chooky exaggeration is quite suitable. HE came running---no that's wrong----wobbling is more apt----and made a 'hen-line' for the back fence. That's when it turned into a circus. HE just could not quite straddle the fence and HE got sort of stuck, right where I hear it hurts or at least becomes---uncomfortable. Human males of a certain age, are not designed to straddle fences. HE called for help to catch me while HE remained 'ensconced ' in a most unseemly manner, uttering very bad words rhyming with 'cluck,' and becoming more and more agitated.

Help arrived, HE freed himself and between the two of them, they tried to convert me into being a sheep. They 'herded' me---crazy. I let them contain me near the fence and HE picked me up. With a little, but suitably dramatic flick of my wings, I alighted upon familiar territory and glanced back as HE once again mounted the fence. Yeah, I know---to much information. Peace returned and I returned to breakfast---a delicious combination of herbs, leftovers and chooky chow. I hope I have not rocked HIS boat a little too much. Time will tell. Come on---one has to keep HIM on his claws! As for getting the last laugh----

War---but---it's just not in me to fight! Confessions of Super Hen (Part 3)

 I was all 'beak,' yesterday. I'm not sure why, but I must have been in a strange mood. HE-- had been a bit disappointed re our laying efforts. Hey---we had a bad day---OK. Then---I overrated. I declared war and I must now confess to a very selfish act. Once, HE had locked us in for the night, I called a 'Council of War,' and ran through a few strategies, like:
     Pecking at HIS feet at every opportunity, especially when he wear jandals!
     Placing poops just where HE steps over the fence, meaning HE will take part of inside HIS house.
     Hiding our eggs in places HE find them.
     Braking the odd egg, that we place in the box---so HE can see them.
     Teasing that Perdy thing---make her bark and annoy HIM.

I think you get the picture, but things didn't quite work out that way. As with any action planned by a 'union,' one must have uniformity of action. The other girls just did not seem to have the commitment. They were more concerned about their claws and the shine on their feathers. It was me who enacted all the aspects of the 'plan,' while they simply strutted and clucked, talking nonsense. I bet they don't even register to vote. Typical!

I guess it's time to save face. HE will be back any moment, so I have a peace offering. One large 'super egg,' from guess who, is sitting strategically in the middle of the nesting box and the other is in the next box---not huge like my beautiful double yoker, but beautiful in its own way. If that does not please  HIM, then I'm going walk about. Trouble is HE has blocked all the holes! Anyway---'walk-a-bouts are for Aussies are they not?

Tomorrow, I am going to launch a 'charm offensive.' (To be continued)

PS:  There is another huge dog, living with us at the moment with a lovely lady from Nelson.  It was her who talked to me about my 'attitude.' Do not tell HIM!
   
   
     

Confession of 'Super Hen.' (Part 2)

Goodness me---much can happen in just 24 hours. Yesterday, I introduced you the 'skeleton's' of my (OK---our) existence, illuminating the bare facts as to how we arrived in this idyllic back yard. SHUUUUSH---do not tell HIM! I have managed to explore the 'greater area,' of the aforementioned yard and much to HIS displeasure, several yard beyond. If HE only knew just how far I have ventured, I am sure HE would suffer from 'dehentia!'

Take yesterday for example. HE arose soon after sunrise. You see, we have managed to make HIM feel guilty, if he does not attend to our needs first thing in the morning, before HE takes the Mutt names Perdy  for a walk. We set up this gentle background 'clacker,' somewhere between clucking and crowing. I guess it sounds like we are suffering in some way, because it elicits an immediate response, once he pokes HIS head out the back door of HIS simple dwelling. WE have yet to see inside that place, but believe me when I say---we are working on it!

I digress. When HE returned from HIS walk yesterday, two of us were not to be seen. We had absconded, but on hearing HIS noisy mutterings, we made ourselves magically appear in he extension to our generous enclosure. It was most important that HE did not discover the means re our escape. This is when we 'feed' HIS ego. Yes, we walk across to HIM, squat and let HIM pick us up, whereby HE returns us to the enclosure,, whilst going on in a boringly familiar manner about 'how the buggers escaped!'

Then HE sets about searching for beautiful eggs we have laid. The others of course place theirs in the egg laying area. I do  not. Mine---are placed in a nest, just by the garden shed. HE has found that area and takes them into the dwelling. I hear HIM 'crowing' about how wonderful I am---yes I produce double yokers. It's all a ploy to 'control' HIM, of course. It takes the focus from my escapades. HE seems less anxious about my absconding, thinking that HE knows the whereabouts of myself and the girls.

Unfortunately, there are traitors in the neighbourhood! Yes HIS Dutch neighbours turned me in! They noticed that I had found a means to escape, using the compost stinky bin to jump on and clacker through a hole in the fence. Freedom---we thought! Nope, those very same people, grabbed us! They can run very much faster than HIM, being younger and in possession of two very sprightly young boys! They kept returning us to the enclosure and they told HIM about our exploits. HE thanked them and immediately set about closing off our escape route. To rub in the 'salt,' HE even offered some of our hard won eggs. How very dare HIM---using us and our labours to suit HIS means. War had been declared!  (To be continued!)

Confessions of 'Super Hen' (Part 1)

Let me introduce myself. Yes, I know---'HE' calls me Super Hen. I kinda like it but truth be known---HE actually can't tell the difference between myself and my sisters! Yeah, I know---I let HIM catch me when I escape our quite generous enclosure, but on several occasions we have swapped and one of my dear sisters has stood in for me while I pretend to be---a normal hen.

    My sisters and I arrived n the Coast about 17 weeks ago and we were delivered by our former owner to this lovely back yard. Don't tell HIM, but we really do appreciate the efforts HE made to make us a home. The only downside would be that hairy monster called---PERDY. Me thinks that if she gets half the chance, our feathers will be permanently rearranged!

   How did I get my name? Right from the beginning of our new life, I was different from my sisters. There are two side to me; one the gentle loving sister and the other the adventurist and killer chook! I look after my sisters and woe betide and stupid sparrow that assumes that the food is 'shared product,' hence my tendency to chase off and yes---if necessary, go to battle for our 'stuff.' HE thinks that the dead sparrow was as a result of my violent foray, but actually, the poor wee thing died of a heart attack! I guess that's how legends are formed, from a simple event and the subsequent additions to fact.

   Perhaps you are pondering the use of 'language' re my telling of this story. Get used to it my friends, because hey--I am from royalty. I know---I'm not the only 'queen' in this story, but a little competition adds to the rich and varied tapestry of 'being here.'

   HE thinks that it was me who defended our 'realm' from the birds. HE also assumes that it is me who lays the eggs. Damn---HE will be thinking that I produce 'golden eggs at this rate.  OK---I am working on that. I hear HIM squealing in that annoying manner, every time he eats one of our eggs, stating the obvious. Of course the bloody yoke is golden!

   I intend---yes me----'Super Hen' to feed the legend, to give HIM stories, but told by me. I shall escape----everyday and those events will be truthfully reported. BUT---there is a problem. ANY super-hero needs a costume. The other person in the household claims HE is going to design one, but perhaps YOU can help out there! I shall await your efforts that MAY be rewarded, if you live nearby. I may be Super Hen, but I have yet to perfect a deliver system re the production efforts of my sisters to places more than twenty metres from our nesting boxes (in and out of the enclosure!) I do have a cousin with some of those flying robots of course. perhaps John can help out there---just saying.'

   Right---I'm off to create some mischief in the neighbourhood. I am thinking of getting that hairy beast, Perdy into trouble by a little bit of old fashioned 'blame shifting.'  Cluck with you---later.

'Coastal chickens' demand a very high standard re their cuisine!

Since my feathery daughters joined our Coastal family,  I have had to learn about pleasing their culinary requirements. Not for them, is just throwing a few handfuls of chicken food, purchased from one of the outlets in Thames. Oh no---they have become connoisseurs!

They demand that I procure nothing but the best in 'chooky chow,' plus deliver only the very highest quality 'leftovers,' or the prizes I collect on my walks. The later activity is now focused on finding little treasures; take for example the native New Zealand plant---Puha---the chooks just love it and I am running out of places where there is still an abundance.

Indeed, I have taken to 'farming the weed: taking only the top parts, leaving the plant to branch out and produce new succulent tips, for later collection, whilst trying not to draw attention to myself, lest others take up the practise. I probably look a little strange and I have had a few quizzical glances cast my way as I walk past people, who may be assuming that the large bulging doggie bag contains doggie poops! All that poop from such a little dog?

My veggie garden is starting to contribute 'produce too. I planted Kale and I am not that fond of it, so guess were it goes---yes----over the fence into the beaks of beasts who enjoy the green vitamin package. Various herbs also go the way of the Kale, but I 'experiment'  with those, on a'let's see what they think,' basis.

Of course, I am not alone re the 'bringing up of my new family. They do say after all, that it takes a village to raise a child.' I have often found various 'offerings, or the remains of them in the enclosure. The other day, a rather large bone, the remnants of a roast was evident, having being pecked clean of anything edible. before you throw your hands towards 'chooky heaven,' in the belief that my neighbours will poison my girls, step back! The  neighbour who tends to partake in such generosity, knows a great deal more then I do about hens.

The ramifications re the end product can be seen in the beautiful eggs I am now getting. As some of you may know from previous posts, it seems that I have one hen who is producing double yokers---everyday. That, I am told, is very good luck. So----long may the hens of the Coast keep adding to my new life. The Coast delivers in ever more wonderful ways!

China---keep reading my blogs.

Thanks China. I am amazed at the number of hits from your way---on my blogs. I am not sure what you like about them and I guess the only way to 'know' would be if you make some comments---give me some feedback. The next step would be for you to download my NZ stories. You can get them on my website and download from Amazon. Just follow the links from Neil Books and click on the free AP if you do not have Kindle. I would .love to know mt books are being read in China. I am of course making the assumption that oyu are able to do the above in China. I am sure you 'will find a way!'